Give me a little background. When and why did you start paying for sex?
It’s the easiest way to connect with somebody. There are a lot of games to be played in traditional relationships, which are a lot of fun. But sometimes when it gets busy, they have other pressing things in life that are not romance. Yet, romantic needs need to be met and so it’s the simplest way to meet those needs.
Do you feel like you had genuine relationships when money was involved? Or was there always an element of “this person wouldn’t be with me if money weren’t involved.”
I mean, you’re with this person and money is involved, so I’ve never really thought about it outside of that. It’s very practical. We’re all playing characters in life. We step into different roles at different times. When you walk into a board meeting, you’re running the meeting. You’re one person.
At a baseball game with your kid, you’re a different person. And in the bedroom, you’re another person. We’re chameleons in life and so I completely embrace that. I don’t see that as an issue at all. In fact, it makes it fun. I assume the other person is doing the same and I have respect for that.
What are your thoughts on the concept that “marriage is a form of prostitution?”
They call it the world’s oldest profession for a reason. It’s the basis of human relationships. There is some exchange of emotional and material gain that happens both ways. We need meaning in life. And we need to have a convenient life. The two go together.
I don’t see prostitution as a pejorative term. It’s just reality. If we take prostitution to mean exchanging money for sex, that seems so crass. But the reality is we all have emotional needs and convenience needs and physical needs.
What’s your current situation regarding supporting women financially versus simply being in sexual relationships with no allowance, etc.?
I have my wife, I have my mistress, and I have various women that may come in and out of my life but I’ve been gradually distancing myself from all of them. So, there’s no one I’m actively pursuing anymore. I’ve thought about doing it in real life, whether it’s through work or at a bar – something more organic than an arrangement. But every time I get involved in that kind of situation, I realize how dangerous it really is. With an arrangement, the expectations are very clear.
I don’t think it’s possible to engage in a sexual relationship without some form of payback. Even when I was younger, women saw me for what my potential was. Now, here I am – the person I thought I was gonna be, so women see me for who I am. But I really do believe a woman seeks money in a partner – whether it’s short-term and transactional or long-term and romantic. That’s just how our society works.
What is your driving factor for wanting to stop paying for sex? Is it more ego related or financially based?
Financials are a big part of it. There’s a downturn in the economy happening. I also just think that there was a time in my life when sex mattered a lot to me and it matters less to me now. At some point, a man crosses the threshold where he’s not on the hunt all the time. I’ve spent a very large part of my life on the hunt. And frankly, it’s exhausting.
If you had unlimited money, would your thoughts on paying for pussy be different?
I do have discussions with friends of mine who have unlimited money and frankly, most of them don’t engage in this kind of behavior, at least not routinely in the way I do. I think it takes a certain type of person to be able to do what I do. There’s a lot of strife involved. Things don’t just fall into your lap.
Same goes for sugar babies. Pursuing and maintaining these sorts of relationships requires time, energy, and a lot of planning. It’s a balancing act that requires a type of motivation a lot of guys don’t have. If I had unlimited money, I might not possess that motivation.
What’s the craziest story you have from your sugar daddy days?
Being drugged, winding up in a hotel room, and getting assaulted by someone who then tried to scream rape and extort me for money.
What do you think you’ll miss most about throwing in the sugar daddy towel?
Just knowing that I can fill my life with something at all moments.
What will you miss the least / what are you most excited about to return back to being the wholesome family man?
More money in my pocket for me and my family. I’m a bit concerned that not having an outlet will make me a nastier person. Arrangements have been cathartic for me. They’ve allowed me to get shit out of my system, which in turn, has made me a better father, husband, son, and lover.
By having my needs met elsewhere, I’ve been able to show up in these relationships free from expectations. I don’t need my wife to fuck me as much. I don’t need my lover to adore me as much. I don’t need my children to look up to me as much. I don’t need my parents to nurture me as much. I can be the giver.
Closing thoughts?
This life comes around once. Actions have consequences, but at the same time, your experience is all you got. I don’t want to be on my deathbed regretting how I didn’t experience some crazy sexual fantasy that I wanted to have. I know I did – a lot of them. It was awesome and I have no regrets.
Jules
Based in Brooklyn, Jules has dedicated her twenties towards harnessing her pussy power, exploring the muse, whore, and wild woman archetypes along the way. When not blogging, you can find her sweating the toxins out in a hot yoga class or sipping a matcha latte at a pretentious coffee shop, whilst she scribbles away in her journal.
