Today is a reminder of something that should never be taboo but, unfortunately, still leaves us feeling shame and confusion: celebrating your vulva in all its glory. This beautiful, powerful part of the body has been shrouded in silence, stigma, and shame, and even today, the word makes some uncomfortable. Yet the vulva isn’t just a part of our anatomy, it’s a centre of health, pleasure, and identity that deserves respect and celebration even when we have been taught to turn away from it, hide it, or see it only through the lens of judgement.

Unfortunately, society has conditioned many of us to feel disconnected from our vulvas. We’re told not to look, not to touch, not to speak about them. But ignoring this part of ourselves can impact not only our confidence but also our wellbeing. So today, let’s turn the focus back where it belongs: learning about, caring for, and celebrating your vulva, because it’s yours, and it deserves your attention.

Get to Know Your Vulva: Facts You Might Not Know

Many people use the word “vagina” to describe the whole external genital area, but actually, the vagina is internal. The vulva is everything on the outside, from the labia, clitoris, urethral opening (where you pee), and vaginal entrance. Knowing the correct language is powerful in itself.

Here are some science-backed facts you might not know:

• The clitoris is bigger than you think. What we see on the outside, the small, pea-sized fleshy bit that feels good to touch, is only the tip of a much larger structure. The internal clitoris extends several centimetres, with legs and bulbs that swell with blood during arousal.
• Every vulva looks different. Just like faces, vulvas come in every shape, size, and colour. Some labia (or otherwise known as the lips) may be tucked in, asymmetrical, or protruding, and all of it is normal. There’s no such thing as the “perfect” vulva, despite what airbrushed images might suggest.
• Your vulva changes over time, just like your face. As we age, so does our vulva. It might change shape, colour and even decrease in natural lubrication.
• Your vulva is self-cleaning, but only inside. The vagina naturally cleans itself with discharge and maintains its own pH balance. But the external vulva still needs care—gentle washing with warm water (and avoiding harsh soaps) is best to prevent irritation.
• Hormones influence your vulva. Oestrogen keeps vulval tissue plump and elastic. During menopause, lower oestrogen levels can make the area drier or more sensitive, which is normal and treatable with moisturisers or medical support.
• It’s connected to your whole body. Pelvic floor muscles, blood flow, and even your nervous system all impact how your vulva feels. Stress, illness, or certain medications can change sensation or libido.

The more you understand your vulva, the easier it becomes to care for it, not as something mysterious or shameful, but as a vital part of your health and pleasure.

Tips for Loving Your Vulva: From Health to Pleasure

1. Prioritise Vulva Health. It Could Save Your Life.

• Gentle hygiene. Avoid fragranced washes or douching, which can disrupt your natural microbiome. Stick with warm water, and if needed, a pH-balanced cleanser made for intimate care.
• Breathable fabrics. Wearing cotton underwear or going without it at night can help reduce irritation and maintain the health of your vulva.
• Regular check-ins. Get comfortable looking at your vulva in a mirror. Notice what’s normal for you, so you’ll spot changes (like lumps, sores, or discolouration) quickly. Early awareness is powerful and could save your life.
• Don’t ignore discomfort. Pain, burning, or itching isn’t something to “just live with.” From infections to skin conditions, there are treatments available, so speak to a doctor if something doesn’t feel right. That includes during sex or intimate moments.
• Cervical screenings are a must! Make sure to stay on top of your screenings, as early detection of cervical changes could save your life.

2. Embrace Pleasure Without Shame

• Explore with touch. Solo play is a beautiful way to understand your vulva on your terms. Experiment with touch, pressure, or toys. Acknowledging what feels good for you can help you take back the power and start to enjoy pleasure and sex that feels good rather than performative.
• Focus on arousal, not orgasm. The journey matters just as much as the destination. We have been taught that sex isn’t sex unless we orgasm. FALSE. Let go of the pressure to “perform” or do what’s expected and instead enjoy the sensations and lean into what feels good. Once you learn to relax and feel rather than stay stuck in your head, the orgasm will follow, and if it doesn’t, that’s also ok.
• Stay curious. Your pleasure map can change over time, and what feels amazing now may be different later. Keep exploring with openness and curiosity, and understand that our bodies, vulva, desires, and need for specific touch change all the time.

3. Reframe the Narrative & Take Back the Power

• Challenge the shame. If you catch yourself feeling embarrassed about your vulva, ask: “Where did this belief come from?“ Often, it’s not yours; instead, it’s something you absorbed from culture, porn, or outdated sex education.
• Celebrate its uniqueness. Stop thinking your vulva is ugly, it’s not! Start to explore it with kind words, whether that’s through mirror exploration, sensual self-massage, or simply saying affirmations like, “My vulva is worthy of love and care.”
• Normalise talking. Share conversations with trusted friends or partners. The more we speak openly, the less taboo it becomes.

Why Celebrating Your Vulva Matters

When you celebrate your vulva, you’re not just reclaiming your sexuality; you’re reclaiming your power and providing yourself with a healthier connection to your body. You’re saying yes to health, yes to pleasure, and yes to confidence in your own skin.

Caring for your vulva isn’t indulgent; it’s essential. Exploring it isn’t dirty; it’s empowering. And celebrating it isn’t taboo; it’s overdue.

So today, give yourself permission to look, touch, talk about, and enjoy your vulva. Get curious. Explore. Take care of it.

April Maria

Author

April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.