When I tell people I work in the realms of sex and relationships, something funny happens in that moment. Everyone suddenly leans in a little closer, and the questions that follow aren’t just about intrigue; they’re often leaning in for some reassurance. More often than not, someone will later pull me aside for a quick chat. “What would you recommend for….” or “Is it normal I feel… during sex?” Everyone is looking for confirmation that what they’re experiencing behind closed doors is, in fact, normal.
But for a long time, even as a woman deeply invested in helping people navigate pain and reconnect with pleasure, I realised there was a gap in my work that I hadn’t been giving enough attention to. A gap that only became obvious as I started my journey as a trainee Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist.
Men’s pleasure and the silence that still surrounds it.
It became impossible not to notice how conversations around what men were experiencing in the bedroom almost always circled back to a single theme: performance, long-lasting erections and reliability of getting the job done. I noticed among the men in my own circle that ‘Getting it right’ outweighed curiosity, sensation, softness, exploration, and pleasure.
I often wonder how much that narrative is shifting as I sit across from men and listen to their stories. I think as we see this shift from performance to pleasure happen for women, we must also acknowledge that for men, pleasure is also far richer, softer, more complex, and more expansive than the world has ever allowed it to be.
That’s where I believe pleasure products come in. They invite men to slow down, to feel more, to explore without expectation. They create space for pleasure that doesn’t depend on “perfect” erections or endless stamina but focuses on curiosity and new possibilities.
For women, sex toys aren’t replacements for a partner or desperate solutions to “fix” something. They’re tools for enhancing pleasure, expanding sensation, and deepening connection, whether you’re playing solo or with someone you trust. So, why can’t the same be said for me?
So, if you’ve ever wondered where to begin, or you’re curious about the toys actually worth investing in for those with a penis, this guide breaks down the essentials—while busting a few myths along the way.
Myth #1: “Sex toys make you lazy.”
Sex toys don’t replace hands, mouths, or intimacy; they offer new sensations the body can’t create on its own. They’re not shortcuts; they’re invitations to explore further.
Myth #2: “Real men don’t use toys.”
Real men use whatever supports their pleasure, confidence, and connection. Toys aren’t about masculinity or bravado. They’re about feeling good, understanding your body, and creating pleasure that feels expansive rather than pressured.
Myth #3: “Toys are only for solo play.”
Some of the best toys are made for couples. In fact, many of the toys below transform partnered sex completely, especially if you’re navigating desire differences, ED, orgasms, or simply wanting something new.
My Pleasure Picks for Men
1. Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo
If you’ve followed my work for a while, you already know I’m obsessed with this brand and its Pulse range, and for good reason. Famous for its oscillation features, the Pulse Duo stimulates the penis through a rhythmic pulsing that works even when fully flaccid.
Why you’ll love it:
- Works with or without an erection
- Incredible for men with ED or post-surgery recovery
- Couples mode adds dual-sided vibes for shared pleasure
- Hands-free options for slow, sensual sessions
- This toy completely rewrites what “male pleasure” can look like: softer, slower, and more body-led.
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2. LELO F2S™
A sleek, techy stroker designed for deep, enveloping sensation. Think of it as a luxury hands-free experience that adapts to your rhythm and pressure.
Why you’ll love it:
- App-connected for custom patterns
- Perfect for edging
- Great for those who want a more intense solo session
3. LELO HUGO™ 2
Prostate play is often taboo when it comes to men’s pleasure, but the HUGO 2 is elegant, smooth, and surprisingly discreet, offering prostate and perineum stimulation.
Why you’ll love it:
- Remote-controlled
- Designed anatomically for comfort
- Perfect intro to prostate pleasure
- If you’ve ever been curious about P-spot play, this is the toy that turns curiosity into “Oh… that’s what my body can do.”
4. Svakom Robin Masturbator
A stroker that delivers realistic suction with a soft, body-safe sleeve and surprisingly strong internal tech. It’s ideal for men who want something simple, effective, and ultra-pleasurable.
Why you’ll love it:
- Suction + vibration = a winning combo
- A great first toy for anyone new to strokers
- This is the “gateway toy” that turns sceptics into believers.
5. MysteryVibe TENUTO 2
This is where wearable pleasure meets clever design. Tenuto 2 supports erections, enhances sensation, and offers hands-free external stimulation you can enjoy alone or with a partner.
Why you’ll love it:
- Wearable, stretchy, body-conscious design
- Enhances erections without pressure or performance anxiety
- A brilliant couple’s toy for grinding, connection, and deep intimacy
- Think of it as a pleasure amplifier. Whatever you’re already doing? It makes it feel better.
Why Toys Belong in Men’s Pleasure Conversations
When you look at these toys, a pattern emerges, and that is that none of them centre on hardness, endurance, or “fixing” something. They centre pleasure, play and sensation.
Sex toys don’t complicate men’s pleasure—they liberate it.
They make room for pleasure that isn’t measured in how long you last or how stiff you can get, but in connection to your body. And whether a man is exploring solo or sharing the experience with a partner, these toys become tools not just for feeling good, but for understanding his body in new and meaningful ways.
Want the perfect toy match? Book an Intimacy Toolkit session with April Maria and discover exactly what your body has been waiting for.
April Maria
April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.