What calls someone into the world of pleasure, and what keeps them there?
I asked the women working at Sensuali exactly that.
What unfolded wasn’t just professional insight, but personal stories of unmet needs, quiet realisations, and the moments that shaped how they relate to their bodies, their desires, and others. Through these conversations, a common thread emerged: this work is rarely just work. It is often a response to something once missing, a reclamation of voice, and a commitment to creating spaces where others don’t have to navigate intimacy, shame, or curiosity alone.
Here is what the women at Sensuali had to say…
Tara – General Manager
Why do you do this work? All of my work revolves around the collective liberation of women. I believe that the shame we attach to sex and sensuality negatively impacts us in most, if not all, areas of life. The idea of a world where we are taught about the benefits of exploring our sensuality — and empowered to explore our pleasure, desires and kinks in a safe, consent-focused and shame-free way — is something I feel deeply passionate about.
What did your younger self need (emotionally, sexually, or relationally) that they didn’t get? I remember talking about 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th bases at school, thinking that was all there was. I was never taught about my own body, so like most of us, I had to work everything out for myself — and that left me with a lot of frustration and too many less than satisfying sexual encounters. What I would have loved back then was the education I have now.
How have you grown or changed since you first began your own journey with pleasure and sensuality? I feel more confident in all areas of my life. I have a better relationship with myself and my body, which I cherish deeply. I’ve worked through fear, guilt and shame around different aspects of my sensuality, and I’m forever grateful to myself for embarking on that journey.
Iso – Blog & Copy Writer
Why do you do this work? While I’ve had my own struggles around sex, I’ve always felt deeply sex-positive and connected to sensuality and desire.
Looking around me, it’s clear that many people don’t have a healthy relationship with sex. I believe these repressed attitudes have caused, and continue to cause, a lot of pain. When sex is silenced, it doesn’t disappear, it becomes distorted, showing up as unhealthy behaviour, judgement, and misunderstanding.
These attitudes don’t just affect how people feel, they also shape what people have access to. For example, disabled people, older adults, and those who are more isolated can often find themselves touch-starved, unsure how to access connection or lacking the confidence to seek it out. This feels especially concerning given how important touch is to our overall wellbeing.
I also feel that the sexual oppression women have faced still continues. Many women are left disconnected from their bodies and conflicted in how they think about sex due to deeply ingrained societal conditioning. When that connection is lost, a huge amount of personal power is taken away, and it’s something I see all around me.
All of this is close to my heart. I believe that by gradually lifting sexual shame, we can move towards a healthier society. I see Sensuali as part of that shift, helping to redefine what pleasure experiences can look like, raise awareness that they exist, and provide safe access to them.
What did your younger self need (emotionally, sexually, or relationally) that they didn’t get? Growing up, I felt very abnormal and ashamed of my body and my desires. I distinctly remember overhearing girls at school say that masturbation wasn’t normal. I also had debates with boys in my year around things like “body count” and slut-shaming, which made me aware of how much judgement was placed on women’s sexuality.
We received very little sex education and no education around pleasure. I hadn’t seen other female bodies or been exposed to a healthy or realistic depiction of sex. The only “education” I found was through porn, which felt limited and performative. I had strong sexual desires, but felt like I had to hide them, creating a constant undercurrent of guilt and embarrassment.
Looking back, I wish I’d had access to more honest conversations around pleasure and more realistic depictions of intimacy. I wish my friends and I could have talked about these things without feeling ashamed or strange. With a stronger sense of community, I wouldn’t have felt so alone.
How have you grown or changed since you first began your own journey with pleasure and sensuality? When I was at university in my late teens, I met a friend who shared similar desires to me. I remember a specific conversation where we both opened up about what we were into, and the judgments we’d faced growing up. It was tentative at first, but by the end we were really spilling our guts out. The relief in that moment was immense. For the first time, I didn’t feel like a “bad” woman or a total outlier for having certain kinks. Instead, I felt like my sexuality was something to be proud of. That marked the beginning of a much more confident and liberating period for me, not just sexually but more generally.
Since working at Sensuali, I’ve come to understand that this is an ongoing journey. There are still areas I’d like to feel more confident in and continue to explore. Being exposed to the work of so many different practitioners has deepened my understanding of how important this space is in helping people build a healthier relationship with their sensuality.
It’s incredibly rewarding to be part of a platform that I genuinely connect with and use myself.
April Maria – Social media, Blog writer
Why do you do this work? For me, it’s about helping people feel less alone in a space we’re so often set up to fail. From a young age, many of us are taught that pleasure is taboo, that self-exploration is something to feel shame about, and we’re rarely given the education, language, or tools to navigate our desires in a healthy way.
Being part of Sensuali means I get to challenge that narrative, offering supportive, inclusive, and shame-free education that empowers people to take pleasure into their own hands. I want people to feel informed, confident, and free to explore their bodies and desires in ways that feel safe and authentic to them.
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What did your younger self need (emotionally, sexually, or relationally) that they didn’t get? I often think about how much my younger self needed someone like me, someone who could hand her the tools, language, and education I’ve only learned later in life. I entered relationships and intimacy from a place of performance and people-pleasing, constantly trying to meet societal expectations of what sex should look like and how my body should look rather than how it should feel.
But living with undiagnosed endometriosis meant I was navigating pain, emotionally and physically, without any real guidance. I forced myself into experiences my body didn’t like because I didn’t know there was another way. I was 28 when I first heard the word endometriosis, and to this day, I find it astonishing that no one, neither my sex education, the women around me, nor my doctors, had ever taught me about what could go wrong with my body or how to advocate for myself when/if it does.
I wish I’d known sooner what my body needed, what I needed, and that intimacy didn’t have to hurt or be so rigid. I needed safety, knowledge, and a permission slip to explore pleasure on my terms, without fear or shame or pushing through.
How have you grown or changed since you first began your own journey with pleasure and sensuality? I used to navigate the world from a place of pain, shame, disconnection, and silence. Pleasure often felt out of reach, something to push through or perform, not something to actually feel or be curious about.
But that’s shifted thanks to the work I do and the learning I explore every day. Now, with the right tools, support, and language, I can explore without shame and ask for what I truly desire. I’ve found confidence in my curiosity and compassion for my needs.
Today, my life feels rooted in connection, safety, and a deeper sense of pleasure, on my terms, not what’s expected of me. I no longer push through discomfort just to fit in. I choose to lean into what nourishes me, and that choice has changed everything.
Pauline – Community Manager
Why do you do this work? I’ve always been deeply curious about sexuality and everything it reveals beneath the surface. As a teenager, I devoured erotic literature and later became fascinated by the psychology behind BDSM. Over the years, I’ve become passionate about breaking taboos and speaking openly about intimacy, desire, and vulnerability.
Poetry helped me free my voice. Through it, I began sharing fantasies and sexuality in a way that felt honest and liberating, and I now love supporting others to do the same.
Discovering tantra, shibari, and BDSM has changed my life. These practices taught me so much about the body, about boundaries, about pleasure. I truly believe more people should have access to that kind of learning and freedom.
That’s why I feel deeply aligned with Sensuali’s mission, especially its focus on making erotic education accessible to women and queer people. I want to help lift the shame around investing in pleasure and working with skilled professionals. It brings me joy to share my experience and write for the Sensuali community.
What did your younger self need (emotionally, sexually, or relationally) that they didn’t get? My younger self longed to be heard, genuinely, without fear of being judged. I needed a space where I could express my desires, curiosities, fears, and fantasies freely.
I wish I had learned earlier that intimacy is not just about the body but about feeling safe and that it was okay to speak my truth and to say no without guilt.
What I was missing was not only knowledge but permission. Permission to feel, to speak, to explore, and to be fully met in return.
How have you grown or changed since you first began your own journey with pleasure and sensuality? My journey through the sex-positive world has deeply transformed every part of my life. I’ve learned to set clear boundaries, to speak up when something feels off, and to be transparent in my desires.
I’ve become better at listening, being present, and allowing vulnerability both in myself and others. These are not just skills for the bedroom; they’re tools for real, honest connection in everyday life.
BDSM has been one of my greatest teachers. Learning about power dynamics, trust, and conscious consent changed how I relate to others. And discovering tantra massage taught me the beauty of giving and receiving in a fully embodied way of choosing one role at a time, with full presence.
I now feel much more connected to my body, to my pleasure, and to a sense of fulfilment that goes far beyond sexuality.
Dana – Product & SEO
Why do you do this work? I think pleasure and sensuality are still very repressed areas in our life. We either don’t talk about it, or there is some kind of stigma. I am interested in helping women be more free in this regard. Be it through making a serious source of information accessible. Connecting people who are working in a conscious way – which i think sensuali does very well.
What did your younger self need (emotionally, sexually, or relationally) that they didn’t get? I have many stories, but I guess one common denominator would be shame around needs and preferences. Fear of being judged. Not knowing what is normal and comparing myself to others.
How have you grown or changed since you first began your own journey with pleasure and sensuality? For sure it has changed a lot. I don’t see sensuality as separate from life. I believe the more integrated we can be, the more free we feel. We still place these topics into the closed realms of things that happen in relationships as a society. And then we are surprised that so many violent things happen because of repression and inequality. It is not the only problem, but it is a big part of our human experience.
April Maria
April Maria is a qualified sex educator, sex and relationships coach and training psychosexual and relationships therapist. For the last four years, April has been working in the field of sex education, sex tech and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationships.