The patriarchy convinced you to be tight, tucked, toned, hairless, and perfectly poised to fit the unrealistic expectations of a male-centered world. It is a rebellious act to say absolutely fuck that.
As a twenty-eight year old woman navigating the inner workings of a society that was never quite made for her, I’ve spent years shedding and unraveling the residual conditioning instilled upon almost every woman I know.
The tale’s as old as time. Yearn to be desired? Shave entirely. Paint that pretty face. Straighten your mane. Tighten your tummy and please oh please stay polite and subdued. The deeply ingrained need to live for the male gaze, rather than for your own, has turned a generation of powerful women into something… else.
It’s a war on self love and it’s about time we turned the tides. Think of your ancestry. Think of centuries of raw woman. Primal, untamed, full-bodied, full-spectrum woman who did not cower at the thought of living outside the normative. Before the 21st century vogue-esque, stick-thin and hairless beauty standard, there was more. Round bellies and voluptuous thighs were revered, not shamed. The curved nose wasn’t rushed to surgeons to be carved and shaped.
There is a vast disconnect from how we once experienced the vessels we inhabit, and in turn a vast disconnect from the way we experience self love. I’ve spent the last 7 years recovering from a lifetime of societal pressure to be what I am not, and I’m on a mission to help the global collective of women do the same.
We do not need you perfect and poised. We do not need you quiet and subdued. We do not need you skipping meals to feel beautiful, hidden behind masks you’ve forgotten you’re wearing. The reclamation of the divine feminine calls for us to honor the differences our body’s carry. To love the skin you live in, exactly as it’s been given. To wake up to the knowing that the matriarchal way is one of radical acceptance, of knowing beauty is a standard you create for yourself, not one that’s bestowed upon you.
I’ve been grappling with the fact that young women of the 21st century are gaining rapid exposure to a world of women who’ve shapeshifted – by means of surgery, filler, and the like – to reach their standard of ‘beauty.’ And while I find no problem with the individual choices women make to feel comfortable in their own skin, I do find massive trouble in the imprint it’s having on young female minds.
We have a responsibility as women to ensure our children, and their children beyond don’t subscribe to the belief that they must change to feel worthy of love. That they must look like the girls on their screens. That they must cover up and hide and shapeshift to fit in.
Instead, reminding them that if the hair grows there, it’s because it is meant to. That the extra fat at the lower belly has a purpose – to protect the womb. That the shape of your nose carries generations of lineage in its form. That there is absolute perfection in the fact that we are all one of one, never having been and never to be again.
What would it look like if we stopped teaching our daughters to shrink? What if instead of handing them razors at twelve, we handed them journals to document the miracle of their changing bodies? What if we taught them that hunger is sacred communication, not something to ignore or override in pursuit of a thinner silhouette?
Deprogramming isn’t easy. There are mornings I still catch myself scrutinizing the reflection staring back at me, my mind running through its well-worn catalog of criticisms before I’ve even brushed my teeth. The programming runs deep because it started early. It was there in every commercial break, every magazine cover, every offhand comment about “letting ourselves go.”
But here’s what I’ve learned in the unraveling: your body is not a project. It’s not something to be fixed, perfected, or presented for approval. It’s the home you live in, the instrument through which you experience this entire existence. And it deserves your reverence, not your resentment.
The rebellion starts small. It starts with letting your body hair grow for a week, then a month, then indefinitely if that’s what feels true. It starts with eating when you’re hungry without calculating the damage. It starts with wearing the clothes that make you feel alive rather than the ones that make you look acceptable. It starts with unfollowing accounts that make you feel less than, and surrounding yourself with images of real, unfiltered, gloriously diverse bodies.
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The rebellion grows when you stop apologizing for taking up space. When you speak your truth without softening its edges to make others comfortable. When you choose rest over productivity without guilt. When you trust your intuition over external authority. When you claim pleasure as your birthright rather than something to be earned through suffering.
This is the work of our generation: to break the chains so the next generation doesn’t have to wear them at all. To model what it looks like to live in a female body without constantly warring against it. To show young women that their worth isn’t located in their appearance, their palatability, or their ability to shrink themselves into something more digestible for a world that fears feminine power.
Because make no mistake – that’s what this has always been about. A powerful woman in full possession of herself, unapologetic in her existence, unbothered by others’ opinions, is a threat to systems built on her compliance. The beauty standards, the body hatred, the endless pursuit of perfection – it’s all designed to keep you distracted, disempowered, and disconnected from the truth of who you are.
Your wild, untamed, full-spectrum self is the revolution. The version of you that laughs too loud, takes up space, speaks her mind, feeds herself without guilt, and adorns herself for her own pleasure rather than others’ approval – that version is what they’ve been trying to suppress.
So let her out. Let her breathe. Let her dance and rage and rest and take up all the space she needs. Let her be soft and strong and messy and magnificent. Let her exist exactly as she is, in this moment, in this body, without needing to change a single thing to deserve love and belonging.
The patriarchy taught you to be small. It’s time to remember you were born to be vast.
Emma’s top 3 recommended experiences:
Deep Rest Ceremony – Remembering Stillness (for women/flinta)
You at Yours Body Confidence Photography and Coaching
Resiliencia – the Masterclass: get intimate with your nervous system
Emma Marschall
Bio: Emma is a Brand Embodiment Coach and Breathwork Facilitator on a mission to empower women in their ability to create wildly successful and sovereign lives through the power of radical self expression. She has studied at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and been certified as Somatic Breathwork Facilitator and Trauma Informed Somatic Practitioner. Emma has created a unique methodology to support women on their brand journey, blending marketing and content strategy with energetic alignment and feminine embodiment. She is also a passionate musician, traveler, nature-lover, reader, and space-holder. When you join Emma's world, you not only get her as your coach, but as your friend and sister. She is deeply intentional with the spaces she creates and honors each and every woman who enters her containers. Emma has grown a thriving brand over the past few years, with over 400k combined humans in her Instagram and Tik Tok communities. She hosts international women's retreats and will continue to spread her mission far and wide, paving the way for women to be wildly self expressed, wealthy, and free.
