Ever considered sex work? Along with the sex and the money, you also get pretty good at, well, life.
Sex
Surprise, surprise. If your sex work involves actual sex you’re going to get pretty good at it. Why? Firstly, because you’ll likely be having more of it than the average person. Secondly, because of the variety of sex you’ll be having.
You’ll soon be accustomed to all shapes and sizes, and will learn that everybody does it differently and you’ll probably try out plenty of new things.
Thirdly and finally, all this attention can make you feel pretty good. You’ll likely realise that you’re evidently not that bad in bed and it’ll feel nice to know that you’re so sexy that people are willing to pay good money to get involved. So expect to become more comfortable in your skin and consequently better in bed.
However, even if your sex work doesn’t involve actual sex, for example, you’re a strictly online-only person or you’re more of an entertainer, your sexual confidence is still likely to increase because you’ll still be subject to just as many people wanting to pay you for being attractive.
In a world where sex is so hush-hush, any form of sex work can be a huge journey of self discovery and liberation. Simply tapping into your sexual side more often and connecting with other sexually open people can make a major difference to how you approach sex.
Social Confidence
Being a sex worker means talking. Lots of talking. With strangers. Who are often people you wouldn’t normally find yourself talking to. This means that you’re naturally going to get a lot more confident when meeting new people and much better at navigating conversation with individuals from all walks of life.
But of course your work doesn’t just involve talking with these different strangers; you’re becoming very intimate and seeing a very vulnerable side to them. Doing sex work shows you that even the most put-together people are scared and often lonely. This helps you feel less scared and lonely yourself.
There’s also something about cutting right to the chase with all these randos, or to phrase it better, getting very intimate with strangers, that takes away some of your naivety. This isn’t caused by the act itself, but the knowledge that you’ve done something many other people wouldn’t dare to, and the unique perspective you’ve gained from that.
This means that not only does sex work make you more socially adept, but it can do major bits in developing your inner confidence.
Emotional Intelligence
People often say that being a sex worker is also being a therapist. You want your clients to feel valued. So you quickly learn to be a good listener. You also want your clients to value you. Most people want a genuine connection rather than a soulless fuck, so as a sex worker, it’s important to be emotionally open.
With the variety of people you meet, you also must be self-aware enough to adapt yourself slightly to each client. All of these things come under the umbrella of emotional intelligence. Many sex workers believe this is the most important trait to possess in the profession. If you don’t have it when you start out, you’re bound to develop some along the way.
Maturity & Wisdom
You’re going to meet people of all ages, and some you may get especially close with. This one’s especially true for sugaring, where you’re likely to develop an intimate relationship with someone much older than yourself. As well as falling into their not so exciting oldie habits like going to bed at 9pm not to mention the mid-afternoon naps, you’re also likely to pick up the cooler aspects of their maturity- their worldly conversation, their refined tastes, their collected composure.
But the best thing you’ll get from older clients is the great gift of foresight. They’ve seen it all, and so they can offer advice from a perspective that only somebody with so much experience has. A bit like a parent, except you can be way more open with them. They’re also completely detached from your usual life and so the advice they offer is totally objective.
You’ll often meet rich and successful people, who tend to have an infectiously positive outlook on life and a belief that ‘anything is possible’. If you spend enough time with them, you’ll start believing it too.
Independence
You chose an unconventional profession. Go you. If people know about it, you’re going to inevitably face judgement at one point or another. If people don’t know about it, you’re going to have to deal with any hardships alone. You’ll learn a lot along the way, but there’s also stuff you wish you knew before becoming a sex worker.
Most common forms of sex work today are very much a self-employed sort of thing, so you kind of have your own mini business to handle. No matter how much people put you down, or make you feel like it’s not ‘real work’, it very much is. You made that money by yourself. Sex work takes a lot of independence, emotionally and practically, which will only grow as you continue.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
