Halloween for the hustlers- whether you’re working or not, you probably still want to look like a thot! I like to consider myself some sort of Halloween connoisseur… I love fancy dress, I love horror, I love fashion and I love looking slutty. Halloween is my MOMENT. In my 25 years of experience, here’s how I would group the Halloween costumes which attract the most attention, and may help you bring in some extra doe.
The Male Fantasy
Great For: Making men horny, staying warm!
If there’s anything that makes dicks hard it’s dressing up as a much-loved female fictional character. My normal Halloween fit is a barely-there one, but the most attention I ever received was actually the time when I dressed in a very covered up bright yellow catsuit as Uma Thurman’s ‘The Bride’ in Kill Bill. A lot of comic book characters or anime characters are also great sex worker costume choices because so many clients are into the fantastical kind of stuff. We’re talking Sailor Moon, Storm, Catwoman, you name it. The Bride isn’t overly done and is an easy one to make you stand out, plus the catsuit means your night isn’t ruined from uncontrollable shivering :-).
The Nudist
Great for: Girlies on a budget, making heads turn
I take Halloween as an opportunity to wear as little as possible without receiving the usual stick for it. A practicality-naked costume is always going to steal the show and there are many ways of doing it. Barely there costumes are also amazing if you’re on a budget because you don’t necessarily need to buy a proper costume. Example? Last year I went as Angela from Sam Mendes’ cult classic American Beauty. I quite literally bought a load of fake red roses- wore a nude tube top and nude undies and stuck the red petals all over them and wacked on an American style bomber jacket for warmth. It was minimal effort and yet probably the best costume I ever wore. Other ideas are Poison Ivy (same concept but with fake leaves), an alien (same concept but with glitter and some shimmery makeup), or a mummy (white bandages)… Granted, these aren’t the most comfortable costumes but they’re perfect for sex workers- the only people cool enough to bare it all without a care.
The Traditional
Great for: Keeping it classy, VIP parties.
I am all for the traditional halloween costume concepts like vampire, cat, witch, devil etc. because there’s a lot more room to get creative compared to when you are going for a particular fictional character where you kind of have to wear exactly what they wear. The traditional concepts don’t have to be boring- it aint what you do it’s the way that you do it etc. etc.
I love vampires. There’s a reason why Twilight and The Vampire Diaries were so popular- vampires are sexy. But don’t just wear all black and throw a costume cape on. A vampire costume is so cool because as long as you have the fake fangs on, it’s clear as day what you’re dressed as and so the rest of the outfit can be whatever you want it to be. I personally would go old school- I’m talking 18th century vamp- bespoke vintage pieces, corsets, lace arm sleeves, pearls, subtle and elegant vampy makeup, hair a mass of messed curls. And the outfit doesn’t have to be black! Traditional concepts often have the potential to be pretty classy- so these ones work well if you’re going to any exclusive halloween parties with an old rich zaddy ! Vintage Vampire is just one example but it’s easy to apply to any concept.
The Pure As Can Be
Great for: Cutesy girlies, standing out from the crowd.
When everyones dressed in black, how does one stand out? White baby, white. Every halloween I try to resist the urge to yet again wear a white/pale coloured fit. It’s so tempting- not only because it immediately makes you feel unique to the crowd but also because it has the potential to still be super gory- after all, fake blood is a lot more visible on a white outfit over a black one. Love it or hate it, the truth is that many men love the concept of innocence and so a cutesy costume is always going to be popular with clients. An angel is the go-to, a ballerina is a great one because ribbon is very cheap and you can tie it up your legs or even around your arms to give the look a kinky vibe. A pixie/fairy is another male fantasy, and as long as you have some fake wings you can get creative with the rest of the costume. Corpse bride, Carrie-esque prom queen, Alice in Wonderland, mermaid, cottage-core country girl…the perfect amount of pureness mixed with fake blood tears running down your lightly blushed cheeks. Voila!
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
