Would an intimacy retreat actually help us?

Honestly, no one can promise that, and anyone who does should be approached with caution. What a retreat will do is remove you from your usual surroundings and the broken, stop-start rhythm of weekly therapy sessions, and replace it with an intensive, distraction-free stretch of time together. You arrive with a trained couples practitioner who gets to know your dynamic properly over days rather than hours. And while it isn't a holiday, it doubles as genuinely intimate time away, just the two of you, with connective practices woven in that make it unlike anything else you'll find. Whether it helps depends on both of you showing up ready to try. But the conditions it creates are about as good as they get.