My name is Rozz, I go by Mistress Rozz. I am writing this guide to help inform first timers how to go about booking a provider. I am a dominatrix, which is a subcategory of BDSM provider, but I will try to speak universally enough to provide a groundwork for booking any kind of provider. This guide will hopefully inspire research, communication, and trust towards making that first leap in connection.

Before You Reach Out

Each provider is different, but will have communicated what they expect on their Sensuali listing or website. The best place to begin is to read the information on these pages. Read it with your complete and undivided attention, I would read it twice just to be certain.

If you feel like you found a provider who is a good match for you, reach out to them. Address them as how they address themselves, this includes gender, name spelling, titles and honorifics. Do not try to stray outside of these parameters, for instance, do not give overly familiar pet names, nicknames, and be wary of typos and autocorrect.

Provide the information they request of you on their listing or website. Such as name, location, interests, availability.

Reach out with as much lead time as you can. I prefer appointments made 2 weeks in advance, but each provider varies. Have a few appointment dates and times in mind if you can, that will help ease scheduling.

Deposits, Screening, and Consultation

Be prepared to make a deposit in some way, the methods of collecting deposits vary from provider to provider as well. For online deposits follow their instructions for memos, don’t write anything outside of their request. Deposits are usually non-refundable after a certain point, sometimes they are transferable with proper notice.

Follow their instructions for screening, this is for their safety. If you don’t feel comfortable with the level of screening required of you, you can apologize and move along. Do not ask for exceptions. If you have no references be prepared to undergo anything from a vibe check to a background check – again, this depends on the provider.

Be prepared to do a consultation, this can happen before the appointment through email or a call. Personally, I prefer a consultation call. I use this time to go into more depth about shared interests, discuss boundaries, and explain a bit of what to expect during the session.

Mental and Physical Preparation

My personal advice is to envision your boundaries before engaging with a provider. Have a consistent concept of what you hope to embark on. This will help you in finding and communicating with a provider, as well as prepare you mentally for your session with them.

Immediately before the session practice good hygiene and self care. Make sure you show up clean, well rested, not hungry, not too full, and prepared. Depending on what the session is you may want to incorporate additional hygiene such as enemas, high fiber intake days in advance, standard hygiene practices; flossing, tongue scraping, tooth brushing, hair washing, showering.

The Day of the Session

Show up and be ready to tribute before the session starts, this may slip your mind due to excitement but try to remember. A tribute usually refers to the agreed payment or gesture of appreciation for a provider’s time, energy, and preparation. Being offered tribute is much nicer than having to ask for it. Your provider will instruct you how and where to tribute ahead of the session generally.

Show up on time, show up at the discussed time, not before and if you’re running late send them a message. Some people show up early because they’re excited but this throws off the pacing, show up at the time you both agree to.

During the session communicate proactively, if something hurts in a bad way, say something. If you have a health concern, voice it. If you need a break, ask for it. Even within a strict BDSM session you can advocate for yourself in that way.

Respect the provider’s boundaries and terms.

Try to enjoy the moment, and let go of all the planning once you’ve arrived there. Once you feel comfortable, try to let yourself give into whatever experience you both agreed to.

Aftercare and Follow-Up

What you can expect after the session can also vary wildly based on provider. Depending on the scene, different players will have different expectations of what happens after a scene. You can ask your BDSM provider what they do for aftercare, or ask your sensual provider how they wrap up. They probably have a personal approach they enjoy.

As a BDSM provider I do a physical and emotional check in after the session and I will sometimes follow up in text or email after a particularly intense scene. I will talk to them, maybe give them a hug, and generally make sure they have a chance to recombobulate and are ready to function in public again.

Final Thoughts

That covers a broad guideline for how to engage with a provider. If you follow the instructions on their website they will most likely be happy to receive your inquiry.

(If you’ve read this far I think you’ll do fine)

Read: How to Stay Safe When Booking Services on Sensuali

Mistress Rozz

Author

Mistress Rozz is a Dominatrix who plays in LA and NYC, also being open to international travel. With 11 years of experience, her interests are long and varied, from bondage to latex and caging to chastity.