Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll have noticed the world is currently undergoing a dating revolution. Meaning more sex positive spaces, kink-friendly apps and an overall normalisation of hookup culture.
We’ve all been there. It’s Friday night, you’re semi-horny, semi-lonely, so you hit up your dating apps and end up at some Hackney soft-boi’s warehouse, where you fake an orgasm and do BDSM (he chokes you twice).
You want to abort mission and evacuate the premises, but oh no no no, your people pleasiness won’t let you out of this one!
Alas, you spend the night in his windowless bedroom where he plays his new ‘mix’ for you, mansplains philosophical concepts that you understood at the age of 15, doesn’t ask you a single question and eventually says, you’re actually really cool.
You sit on the bus at 8am the next morning questioning your existence and realise that you’ve just given so much of yourself to someone and gotten nothing in return except a burning UTI and a trip to Boots for the morning after pill.
You didn’t even like him, but the subtle feeling of being used makes you emotional about the whole affair. You feel very much like Annie in the first scene of Bridesmaids after she stays over at that dickhead’s place (ie- like shit).
Now, more than ever before, dating culture is so closely comparable with sex work. We find each other online. We meet, we fuck (usually pretty quickly), we don’t always see each other again. We move onto the next. And guess what? Half of the time we don’t feel fulfilled by these encounters.
As a former sugar baby and also a very typical Gen Z girl, I can safely say that out of my sugar dates and my ‘normal’ hookups, I felt more empowered by my sugar dates. Here’s why.
I felt more in control of the situation, the encounter was more transparent (we had no great expectations of each other), and if I didn’t enjoy the sex that much (most of the time I did) I had at least gotten something in return.
All of this to say:
in a climate where it’s the status quo to meet up with randos we’ve found on an app, do kinky shit with and never speak to again, why not make bank from these affairs?
Especially if doing so might make our encounters more transparent and consequently more healthy.
It’s time to find more empowering ways to profit from our sex appeal.
It’s about putting our desires first, leading with our fantasies, however small or large, typical or obscure, vanilla or spicy.
Whether you’re into tantra, exhibitionism, foot worship, shibari, spanking, strapons or if you just want to kiss someone for a very long time, why not make bank from something we enjoy or are curious to try anyway?
Today’s society, (especially thanks to Gen Z), has an increasingly healthy relationship with sex, meaning that there is potential for us to profit from our sexuality in a totally different, and healthier way. This is only the beginning.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
