What really happens during a tantra massage?

Tuesday, 5pm.

I was walking through snowy Berlin streets, wrapped in four layers of clothing, cheeks frozen, body tense and already dreaming of the moment when my naked skin would be slowly covered in warm oil.

I deeply enjoyed the Vorfreude, as the Germans say: the pleasure of anticipation, the sweetness of longing. I was about to indulge in a tantra massage ritual with Scarlet whom I had met before, but with whom I had never yet shared intimacy.

What is a tantra massage?

Before I go any further, allow me to explain what a tantra massage is for those who may not be familiar with it.

Tantra massage is a type of massage where the whole body is touched slowly and deliberately, including intimate areas, if that’s agreed. It usually takes place in a calm, private setting, and the person receiving the massage is naked or partially naked.

The massage starts like a normal massage, with oil and hands moving over the body. What makes it different is that it doesn’t rush. The practitioner takes their time, touching each part of the body slowly, often spending much longer than usual on areas that are normally ignored, like the stomach, chest, face, or inner thighs.

During many tantra massages, the genitals are also included. This isn’t approached differently from the rest of the body in the sense that it’s simply another area that can receive touch. The intention is for the touch to be pleasurable, as all massage can be, and supportive or healing, as massage often is.

What makes this different is that the touch isn’t focused purely on sexual desire or a specific outcome. For many of us, this part of the body is usually only touched with sex in mind, which can carry a lot of pressure, expectation, and shame. In tantra massage, there is no goal and no pressure. Sexual pleasure may arise, but it isn’t the point.

That absence of expectation is what many people find liberating and beautiful about the tantra massage experience. It allows the body to relax, to feel without performing, and to be touched with care rather than urgency.

This is one of the reasons tantra massage has become such a wellness phenomenon, particularly for women who are looking to feel more connected to their bodies and less burdened by shame around intimacy and pleasure.

What happens during a tantra massage

When I arrived at Scarlet’s studio, she welcomed me with tea and invited me to sit and share how I was feeling, what I needed, and what my intentions were for the session. From the very beginning of the tantra massage booking, I felt safe.

She spoke with passion about touch and sensuality, about her love for creating multisensory experiences: music, scent, dimmed lights… an entire sensual universe designed to support presence and surrender. “Here, everything is welcome, every emotion, sound, feeling. I want to welcome them all into the space by being slow, present and grounded.” says Scarlet. 

She first guided me through a meditation, gently anchoring me in the here and now. The outside world slowly dissolved.

Then she held me close, and it felt incredibly good to soften into her arms, to let go, to trust, and to allow myself to be carried by the experience.

Scarlet is a dancer and has been a bodyworker for many years. She weaves together different massage techniques with great intuition, moving deep into the tissues while also working with energy: relaxing, awakening, circulating.

As the massage started to begin, I lay on my front as warm oil was poured onto my skin. It spread slowly, generously, speaking to every inch of my body.

Her hands moved over my back, arms, and legs with confidence and care, guiding me into a state of deep relaxation where time seemed to stretch and blur.

When I turned onto my back, she spent a long time massaging my face with slow, deliberate strokes, both tender and grounded, gentle yet present. I felt tensions melting away from my jaw, my forehead, my eyes. I hadn’t realised how much I had been holding there.

She continued the tantra massage with my front body, caring for every part without exception. Before approaching my genitals, she asked for clear consent, then moved with exquisite slowness, starting from the outside, circling, approaching, retreating amplifying sensation rather than rushing toward anything. There was no goal, no expectation, only listening.

It was profoundly moving to receive such attentive, respectful care for my most intimate parts, knowing that nothing was expected from me in return. Scarlet made me feel deeply safe.

There is something incredibly sacred about two women caring for each other in this way: an exchange of energy that feels ancient, natural, and quietly powerful.

More than a sensual experience, the tantra massage session brought me into a state of deep presence. Pleasure became diffuse, subtle, spreading throughout my whole body rather than concentrating in one place. My nervous system softened, my breath slowed, and I felt both grounded and expanded at the same time.

Want to explore touch and pleasure beyond the page? Discover Sensual Touch Experiences on Sensuali.

We closed the experience with another cup of tea, sharing a few words, smiles, and silence. I loved feeling her complicity with her own work, the devotion she carries for touch, and the passion she transmits so effortlessly.

I left the studio wrapped again in layers but something inside me was so vividly warm and very much alive!

👉 Scarlet offers tantra massage sessions for all genders in Berlin and in other cities of Germany. She also offers BDSM sessions as well a guided self-pleasure practices online and offline. She also offers tantra and conscious kink rituals and coaching for couples to help them deepen their intimacy, and dive deep into the complexity of relational dynamics.

You can view tantra massage experiences by Scarlet and learn more about her work on her Sensuali profile.

Pauline Marie-Antoinette

Author

Pauline is a poetry writer, performer, experience creator, and intimacy and kinks workshop facilitator. She believes in the power of arts and creativity to be profound vehicles for change and loves to empower people to free their inner artist and turn sensuality into a real art form. Her solo-show, "An Erotic Poetry Odyssey" is an invitation to deepen intimacy, explore conscious kinks while challenging societal taboos. Pauline designs experiences for couples, retreats and workshops in Berlin and around the world!