Why Vetting Matters At Sensual Events

Vetting has been an invaluable practice for The Naked Tea Party since our first events as a way to support the security of the space and allow true freedom amongst participants. 

Vetting is the process of screening potential guests for an event with the intention of creating a safer space for everyone involved. For kink, sex-positive, and other gatherings that aim to foster secure intimacy and genuine vulnerability, vetting is a crucial step. 

Vetting allows organizers to curate not just the stage but the atmosphere and community dynamic of a room. Is there gender balance? Diversity in age, culture, and experience? Are both first-timers and regulars represented? And most importantly, are all participants actively contributing to the safety of the space? 

Another key goal of vetting is to ensure that participants are aligned with, understand, and agree to the event’s guidelines. 

The vetting process can take many forms—surveys, applications, personal interviews, recommendations, or checking databases for individuals previously flagged as unsafe. These practices are typically guided by clear standards: This behavior is welcome. That behavior is not. 

At The Naked Tea Party, our dress code of bare skin makes for an especially vulnerable container. We expect all participants to arrive with respect for themselves and others. Our vetting process helps us create gender balance, promote diversity, and filter out those who may not be a safe or aligned addition to the space. 

We use a survey with questions such as: 

• “How do you identify yourself?” 
• “Why do you wish to join this space?” 
• “What do you hope to offer this space with your presence?” 
• “Please confirm that you understand you can approach a team member at any time if you feel uncomfortable or need support.” 
• “Do you have any questions for us?” 

These answers help us quickly gauge whether someone has taken time and care to engage thoughtfully. The majority of our guests arrive with openness, compassion, and presence—and we believe our vetting process plays a significant role in that. 

Everyone benefits from proper vetting. Its influence extends beyond the event itself, reflecting a culture of care and intention.

• Individuals gain clarity about the event’s expectations, which fosters a sense of safety and relaxation. Knowing how they’re expected to engage can reduce anxiety and increase freedom. 
• Communities benefit from cohesion. When everyone enters with the same understanding, it cultivates deeper intimacy and trust. 
• Organizers feel more secure and prepared. Vetting opens a dialogue:

-What are our guests expecting? 

-Why are they joining us? 

-Do they have questions or concerns? 

This not only informs better planning but can spark conversations that further clarify and align intentions. 

Vetting is invaluable in refining events. It helps prevent harm or misunderstandings by ensuring that attendees are informed and aligned. For sold-out events, vetting allows for even more thoughtful curation—prioritizing applicants who demonstrate honesty, self-awareness, and enthusiasm. 

Without thorough vetting, discomfort is more likely. People often come to sex-positive or kinky events seeking freedom, fun, and exploration—but unfortunately, so might those looking to exploit. Harm can occur not only through overt actions but through subtle violations of consent: proximity, gaze, conversation, or presence. 

Vetting is a vital opportunity to establish shared standards of care, consent, and awareness—especially in spaces meant to invite novelty, edginess, and connection. 

Some may feel vetting is invasive or unnecessary. These individuals may not recognize that vetting protects everyone, especially those from more vulnerable communities. Many find great relief knowing that organizers have taken care in choosing who enters the space. 

As with any process, vetting evolves. Our own has shifted over time in response to community feedback—sometimes adjusting the wording of questions, sometimes reaffirming our intentions. 

We see vetting as a tool that strengthens safety, intimacy, and coherence within an event. It says, simply and powerfully: We care, and we take responsibility for the spaces we create. 

Featured photo: by sebastiaanlefuce for The Naked Tea Party.

Written by Danielle Barnett, founder of The Naked Tea Party (Berlin).

Danielle Barnett

Author

Danielle is the founder of The Naked Tea Party, a Berlin based event that invites people to celebrate in the radical simplicity of their bare skin. Aside from The Naked Tea Party, her passion for the body, healing, and community has inspired her further work as a yoga instructor, birth doula, and volunteering with hospice patients. Everything that she does relates back to the body and normalizing the human experience.