‘Whether self-tying, double tying or labbing inventive new tie combinations, Rory likes to make sure his rope puts the model’s well-being and needs first. He believes that rope can be for every body and likes to adjust, learn and develop ties that enable those with injuries and disabilities to fully experience Shibari.’
Rory Ropes is an experienced Shibari Rigger, rope switch, and top, with a playful and dynamic approach to his craft. He offers rope tuition and also performs publicly. We had a virtual sit down with Rory to hear about his individual journey and thoughts on Shibari.
- Could you introduce yourself and what you do?
- Do you have a mission?
- What was your journey into this world?
- How would you describe your approach to Shibari rigging?
- Do you naturally assume a dominant role when rigging?
- What does it mean to be a good Shibari rigger?
- What’s a small and unexpected pleasure about doing Shibari?
- Who is your typical client and why do they come to you?
- What’s the biggest challenge for you in Shibari?
- What should more people know about Shibari?
- Who or what inspires you?
- Describe the vibe of a Shibari performance with Rory Ropes.
- What are your hopes for the future?
Could you introduce yourself and what you do?
I’m Rory (he/him), a Shibari rigger & educator.
I offer Shibari sessions, lessons, performances, and house rigging services.
I also have a small business making kinky items called Rough+Ready, and run a neurodivergent friendly kink event called Quiet K!nk.
Do you have a mission?
I don’t have a mission per se; but I do want anyone who wants to try rope to be able to do so in a comfortable and safe scenario.
What was your journey into this world?
For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed restraint in the bedroom. A friend suggested I should go to Anatomie studio to do their intro workshop. I had another friend want to go, so we went together, and I just fell in love with it. I realised it was a creative tool for building connection, and instantly booked onto a workshop as soon as I could!
How would you describe your approach to Shibari rigging?
A lot of my rope is dynamic and playful, and focuses on the movement and sensation within the rope. Building sensation with rope pressure, and moving the body in stretched or challenging shapes before returning to rest.
As someone with an invisible disability, I also have a passion for inclusivity in rope, and enjoy tying with people who are told “rope is not for them” or that struggle with rope due to disability or limitations.
Do you naturally assume a dominant role when rigging?
Sometimes. I normally refer to myself as a rope top or rigger more than a dom, as i feel like there’s expectations on what a dom is. I’m definitely the dominant figure in the situation when tying, but I’m more often a tactile top rather than a mental dom.
What does it mean to be a good Shibari rigger?
Practice. First and foremost it’s being confident, safe, and versatile in your rope handling.
Being able to communicate with the person your tying with, and be able to read their expression or feeling if they are non-verbal.
Knowing how to tailor the experience to the person your tying, and how to change things to suit them.
And how to deal with minor complications before they become big ones, and how to deal with big issues!
What’s a small and unexpected pleasure about doing Shibari?
Shibari is a tool, and we can use it in multiple ways. The intention, location, and who make a huge difference in what it looks & feels like, so there’s different benefits for both rigger & model in multiple situations.
One moment that I really enjoy that I have when tying with one of my partners, is the when I’ve brought them mostly down from a suspension, and get to have a cuddle with them while they’re still tied. It’s a very complex set of emotions for them being comforted and secure with me, but also held captive.
Who is your typical client and why do they come to you?
I have 2 types of typical clients:
- I quite often get couples, who want to learn either at home or in a private setting as opposed to in a larger studio.
- The others are people who are often already in relationships, who have a kinky side but a partner who isn’t, and come and see me (much like seeing a masseuse for a massage).
What’s the biggest challenge for you in Shibari?
Energy. A side effect of my disability is fatigue, so I can’t do it all day everyday! But I can get several hours most days of the week, so I do feel lucky about that, and in a much better position than I used to be in.
What should more people know about Shibari?
Shibari is not all about sex. Yes, it certainly can be, but it’s a creative pursuit to build connection between people (or with yourself if self tying). Who you do it with, where, the intention, etc; has a huge impact on the connection and the type of tying.
Who or what inspires you?
I gather inspiration from a lot of places. It can be the other teachers and models in the studio I teach at, it can be found on instagram, sometimes even from works of art or performances from other mediums (like ballet). I normally get the best inspiration from the person I’m going to tie with, as something they enjoy or want can be incorporated and it makes the experience unique for them.
Describe the vibe of a Shibari performance with Rory Ropes.
Music and other elements can vary greatly, its one of those intention things. If we look at my most recent performance for a crowd, it was fast paced, and dynamic; it had clothes being cut off; a lot of spinning and wow factor for those watching. The music was all controlled by a DJ, and it just worked together really well.
In stark contrast, I did a very intimate scene with a friend for a documentary on the softer side of kink. There was no music as the videographer really focused on the sound of the rope on the body, and it creaking against itself. It was incredibly intense, but in a very different way to the performance for a crowd.
What are your hopes for the future?
My hope is that my 3 passion projects (Rope, Rough+Ready, and Quiet K!nk) can support me financially long term. One day I’d like to open up my own rope studio, and be able to host workshops, jams, events, etc there; and provide a safe space.
Discover more about Rory Ropes, Shibari rigger & educator.
Read: Tied up in intimacy: meet Shibari star, Petite Pretzel.
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
Rory Ropes
Rory enjoys playful & dynamic rope and is a fan of incorporating body manipulation by the rigger alongside rope. Whether self-tying, double tying or labbing inventive new tie combinations, Rory likes to make sure his rope puts the model’s well-being and needs first. He believes that rope can be for every body and likes to adjust, learn and develop ties that enable those with injuries and disabilities to fully experience shibari. He can often be found working on the technical aspects of a tie/rope sequence in order to constantly develop his skills.
