If you’re not yet in on the world revolution of sex parties, then it’s time to bloody get in – (seriously, you have no idea the scenes that  you’re missing out on). And if there’s any place in the world that’s going to hold insanely crazy sex parties, full of beautiful souls from anywhere and everywhere seeking one another out in the dark, it’s nyc, baby. Here are the parties worth knowing about.

420 friendly sex parties: NSFW

The classy but cool sex party, nsfw

NSFW sex parties aka New Society for Wellness is one of the newer parties on this list. 420 friendly with non-alcoholic cannabis infused cocktails, this is a cool but safe space to explore all that stuff society doesn’t like us doing. However, you do have to submit a profile before becoming a member. According to their website: ‘members are selected based on points of attraction which including creativity, travels, relationship experience and possible contributions to the community.’

If you’re accepted, you can make a one-time payment to make you a lifetime membership. Otherwise, head to their public chatrooms and simply find someone who is happy to invite you as their guest. There’s an imaginative flair to NSFW that makes these sex parties dreamily unique- the event staff are called ‘nymphs’ and their float around in white dresses amidst the naughtiness, and event performers are deemed ‘muses’ encouraged to take up space and provoke desire to guests. With it’s forward-thinking attitude, NSFW isn’t only about sex parties, it’s a movement in itself.

Location: Usually an artists’ style loft in Soho.
Dress code: Usually the nights have a themed dress code.
Price: $$

Queer sex parties: The Wink

the queer sex party: the wink nyc

Deeming itself  ‘a members only club for colorful queers’, the wink sex parties are not quasi-inclusive ‘yay empowerment’ but the real deal. From their beautifully curated website, to their imaginative events (we’re talking BYOB psychedelic garden parties with drink toasts and dessert served, of course(!) The Wink does what they do very, very well.

A past event was cosmic and space themed, whilst another was imagined to be held up-in-the-clouds. There’s no enforcement of hard kink here; things can also be simply about exploring your sensuality in a cosy and comfortable environment. You do have to apply for membership, but less so for ‘exclusivity’ reasons, more so to protect the safe and positive community that they have established.

Location: Secret locations around nyc, Bushwick being one known hotspot.
Dress Code: Dress to impress. Streetwear will be turned away. Individuality and imagination is encouraged.
Price: $

Community sex parties: Hacienda

the community sex party: hacienda, nyc

Taking inspiration from Burning Man festival, Hacienda sex parties are normally filled with people wearing glittery neon mystical fits, but that’s not all they’re known for. These nyc sex parties have a wonderful community vibe and a very well articulated page dedicated to consent of their website. There’s a natural, welcoming and unpretentious vibe and a membership process that focuses on the positive attitude of applicants.

Expect a variety of age and a balanced gender ratio, pink lights, pool sex parties, burlesque shows and sex workshops – they even held a Barbie party(!) If you don’t make the membership, they still hold public parties, with a little bit of play allowed. It’s BYOB, with snacks and a 2am banquet provided.

Location: Between the Brooklyn villa or the Bushwick lodge or tower, each of Hacienda’s locations are somehow funky, sexy and homey all at once.
Dress code: Events are usually themed, but whatever the theme, dress up or dress creative. Dress in what makes you feel sexy.
Price: $$

Exclusive sex parties: SNCTM

The exclusive sex party: SNCTM

Snctm has been said to hold the world’s most exclusive members-only sex parties. Everybody has to apply before being accepted (or not), which includes providing photos and answering questions about sexual turn ons. If a single man is accepted, the minimum membership fee he will pay annually is $12,500, however as the website states: ‘Snctm is always supportive of elegant and intriguing women’ and so if they are accepted onto the ‘women’s list’ they don’t need to pay a dime (woop).

Past events have included luxury dinners, fetish classes and pool parties, but the most famous event is the black tie masquerade ball. It’s hot in an ultra-rich getting ultra-dirty, Eyes Wide Shut, exclusive sort of way. There are also performers at the events, making it a sexy whirlwind extravaganza, but less so a raw and authentic get-together of classified freaks.

Location: Secret, nondescript buildings, likely in Manhattan.
Dress code: Formal black tie (but the women can get away with lingerie only).
Price: $$$$

Bdsm sex parties: BOUND

bdsm sex parties, bound nyc

Since starting out in 2016, Bound sex parties have gained a big following also as a record label, radio show, lifestyle platform and even a clothing brand. Not only that but they created the Global Fetishwear Guide.  According to their site, Bound ‘aims to create experiences that place emphasis on sonic encounters and visual stimuli.’

Bound is a resident at the gritty Queen’s nightclub, Basement nyc, and so here, the sex parties are just as much about the music as they are about the bdsm play. There are plenty of known techno djs playing at events, and ‘the dance floor is for dancing, not conversation’. If you’re looking for a hardcore night of industrial music and respectful bdsm play, these are the sex parties for you.

Location: Basement nyc, Queens.
Dress code: Strictly fetish attire.
Price: $

Male only sex parties: Lodge

male only sex parties, lodge nyc

Lodge holds sex parties in nyc for gay and bisexual men only. Their blue painted website, with muscly men holding up the Lodge letters, and fantastic event names like ‘Bear Party’, ‘Blow Buddies’ and ‘Workman’s Lunch’ displays their tongue-in-cheek celebration of stereotypical masculinity. ‘Workman’s Lunch’ is an event dedicated to quickies for people on their lunch break in the city. ‘The Chub Chaser Party’ is specifically for plus-size men to let it all hang loose.

In a typical manly man way, Lodge don’t beat around the bush their sex parties are literally about ‘facilitating fun and satisfying sexual encounters for gay and bisexual men.’ and they try to remain as apolitical as is possible. All of their events are open door, so this is anything but exclusive.

It’s about meeting gays from all over- not just New Yorkers, but visitors from far and wide. Lodge pride themselves on being totally anonymous and there is no membership fee- all you have to do is sign up to the mailing list to find out about sex parties. There are events almost every night of each week, so there’s plenty to go around!

Location: Various locations around nyc.
Dress code: Underwear or less.
Price: $

Safety + Sex Parties

  • As long as the establishment permit it, attending a sex party alone is very common.
  • You don’t have to take part. It’s always okay to stay on the sidelines at a sex party.
  • No one can touch you without consent. Boundaries should always be respected.


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Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.

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