Touch therapy for men is still rarely talked about, yet many men are actively seeking safe, professional ways to experience connection, care, and touch. Trevor James is one of the practitioners working in this space, offering touch therapy, cuddle therapy, massage and bodywork, plus intimacy coaching for male individuals and couples.
In this interview, Los Angeles touch therapist, Trevor shares his journey into touch-based work, what his sessions really involve, and why practices like cuddle therapy and sensual bodywork can be so powerful for men who are often touch-deprived, emotionally guarded, or unsure how to receive care without pressure or performance.
Tell us more about you and your touch therapy
Hi, I’m Trevor James and I describe myself as a men’s Touch and Intimacy Therapist. My work includes touch therapy, cuddle therapy, massage and bodywork, sacred intimacy, and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples. I’m also a workshop and retreat facilitator, and an author.
I’m a Third Culture Kid. I was born to African parents, grew up in Europe, and now live in the US. I’ve lived in six countries so far. That, combined with my love of travel (39 countries at last count), has given me a global perspective that really informs how I relate to people. I consider myself more open-minded and tolerant as a result.
Outside of work, I love the performing arts and can often be found at the theatre. Plays, musicals, dance performances, concerts, I love them all. I also enjoy entertaining at home. Dinner parties, brunches, cocktails, movie nights. Any excuse to gather good people, feed them well, and pretend my life is a curated lifestyle magazine.
What services do you provide on Sensuali?
I’m delighted to offer my full range of services on Sensuali. This includes touch and cuddle therapy, massage and bodywork (including a tantric experience massage), sacred intimacy, and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples. I also offer workshops as they become available.
What turns you on?
I’m turned on by things people don’t usually list as turn-ons.
Presence turns me on. The kind where someone is really there with you, no matter what’s going on around them.
Honesty turns me on. When someone can admit, “I’m nervous,” or “I don’t really know what I want yet,” without trying to perform. Nothing is hotter than a man who stops performing and starts being real.
Curiosity turns me on. A playful mind. A willingness to explore without needing to be an expert. Bonus points if you can laugh at yourself along the way.
And yes, there are the classics. Good scent, warm eye contact, moaning, barely-there touch, and the kind of confidence that isn’t loud, but settled.
Also, a man who knows how to receive. That one is rare enough to deserve its own standing ovation.
What was your journey into the world of touch therapy?
The first 25 years of my career were spent as an event producer and director for large-scale productions such as galas, pageants, fashion shows, award ceremonies, and concerts. My speciality was live events for broadcast.
In 2018, after losing my last event job, I decided to be more intentional about the next phase of my life. That’s when I discovered massage, touch, and cuddle therapy. During the pandemic, I found tantra and added it to my work. Since then, my practice has continued to evolve and expand into more erotic forms of bodywork.
From a straight-laced Catholic altar boy to the man I am today, it’s been a long and eventful journey. I don’t regret a moment of it. I’m still unlearning the shame I picked up early on, but I’m so far from where I used to be. I’m honoured to walk alongside the men I work with who choose to join me on that path.
What do the first 60 minutes of your day look like?
I’m not a morning person and I’m a slow riser. It usually takes me 60 to 90 minutes to get out of bed, so I make sure I wake up at least two hours before my first engagement.
During that time, I practise gratitude, do a body scan, check my calendar, plan my day, and look through emails. I’m not a coffee person, so that part is easy to skip.
Why do you do what you do?
Because I believe deeply in the importance and power of this work to transform lives.
Much of the work I do with men is what I wish someone had taken the time to guide me through earlier in my own life.
This work fulfils me more than any job I’ve ever had because I’m changing people’s lives directly, one man at a time. That feels incredibly good.
I also receive gifts from my clients with every interaction. I learn something new about myself and my work every day, and I don’t take that lightly.
Are you a sensual
professional?
Join hundreds of BDSM practitioners, content creators, erotic writers, artists, coaches, masseurs, muses and more on Sensuali
What is an unexpected pleasure you’ve discovered in your work?
One unexpected pleasure is witnessing the moment when a man finally allows himself to enjoy pleasure without holding back.
There’s a moment when the overthinking quietens, the need to do things “right” fades, and his body takes over. He stops performing, stops apologising for wanting what he wants, and surrenders into sensation. It’s like watching someone finally exhale after holding their breath for years.
It’s beautiful not because it’s dramatic, but because it’s honest. It’s a man remembering that pleasure isn’t something he has to earn. It’s something he’s allowed to receive.
What should more people know about your work as a touch therapist?
I wish more people understood that my work isn’t about sex. It’s about connection.
Yes, my work in touch therapy can include erotic energy, sensuality, and pleasure. But at its core, it’s about consent, communication, safety, and emotional truth. It’s about learning how to be with another person, or with yourself, in a grounded and respectful way.
I also wish more people understood that many men are not fine. They’re touch-starved, lonely, and carrying a lifetime of pressure to be strong, stoic, and self-contained.
My work offers a safe place to soften. A place where they can be held, seen, and reminded that wanting touch doesn’t make them weak. It makes them human.
What’s your superpower?
Calming people down. I’m often told that my voice, demeanour, and overall energy are very soothing and reassuring. At this point, there must be something to it.
We love vices. What’s yours?
Cakes and pastries. I have a serious sweet tooth, and they are absolutely my kryptonite.
Put a buttery croissant, mille-feuille, tres leches, or anything involving frosting near me and suddenly I’m very spiritual about it. Chocolate doesn’t really do it for me, but fruit and cream absolutely does.
I have zero shame about my sugar and carb cravings. Life is hard. Let me have my éclair.
Who are your sensual inspirations?
Esther Perel, for naming the dance between safety, mystery, and eroticism without shaming anyone for wanting more.
bell hooks, for reminding me that love is a practice.
James Baldwin and Audre Lorde, for truth that is both tender and unapologetic.
Also Sade, Prince, and D’Angelo.
I’m also deeply influenced by Betty Martin and the Wheel of Consent, which is essentially a masterclass in understanding what you actually want and learning how to say it out loud.
Closing thoughts?
I believe pleasure and intimacy aren’t luxuries. They’re nutrients. Many men are under-touched, over-performative, and long overdue for a softer way of being.
You don’t have to be perfect to be desired. You don’t have to be healed to be held. You just have to be willing to show up and let the experience meet you where you are.
And one final practical takeaway: hydrate, breathe, and never trust a man who says he doesn’t like dessert.
👉 Explore all experiences in Sensual Touch & Intimacy – on Sensuali
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
Trevor James
Trevor James is a certified touch and cuddle therapist, sacred intimate, masseur, intimacy coach, as well as a workshop and retreat facilitator, and the author of "On Being Seen: Chronicles of a Touch & Intimacy Therapist". His work helps men reconnect with pleasure, presence, and authentic expression—one breath, one touch, one moment at a time.
