Why does one of us always initiate intimacy?

Almost every couple has an initiator - it's rarely about who wants who more. Often the quieter partner desires just as much but fears rejection, or their desire needs warmth and time to surface rather than arriving on its own. The danger is the story you each tell: 'they don't want me' meets 'they only want sex.' Talk about it outside the bedroom, kindly. Sometimes just naming the pattern breaks half its power.