Facesitting is one of those sexual acts that most of us know about, but perhaps haven’t tried ourselves. In the spirit of sexual enlightenment, here’s why facesitting can be one of the most exciting intimate experiences.

What is facesitting?🧐

Although it may sound painful, facesitting is actually anything but. As the name suggests, the act involves a person (usually a cis-woman, femme, or person with a vulva) sitting on the face of their partner and receiving oral sex. Facesitting is an art, and when mastered, can be extremely pleasing for both giver and receiver alike.

 

Right, so what do I do?

If you are serious about taking a seat on the face of your lover, there are some important things to remember. In terms of the physical action, it’s more a case of perching over your partner than fully sitting your whole body weight down on them. This allows them maximum room to give you pleasure and also helps the action last longer. For some, however, the suffocation element is key. Some partners may prefer to have their whole weight pressed down for them to really go to town. It’s all down to the individual.

 

How do I talk to my partner about facesitting?🗯

Like all things in relationships and dating, communication is key. Whether you want to bring up the possibility of trying facesitting or confess to always having had a thing for it- you’re never going to know your partner’s reaction until you talk. Be prepared to listen to their opinion, whether it be positive or negative. Talking with your lover beforehand about facesitting can also help you both understand what you find exciting about it, leading to a better experience when you try it out.

Get out of your head to enjoy some head🤯

Facesitting is an extremely intimate act and can be the key to mind-blowing orgasms. For you and your partner to fully enjoy the
experience, try to relax and let one thing lead to another.

Facesitting can be a delicious part of foreplay, or incorporated into other sexual acts. Maybe you want your partner to ride your face when they are up top, or maybe vocals and eye contact whilst facesitting is what gets you going. There are countless ways to enjoy facesitting, so go with the flow and experiment. The more you try different ways, the more you will know what you like best.

 

Facesitting as a form of power play⛓

Facesitting isn’t just about reaching climax and pleasing your partner. It’s so much more than that. Facesitting is about playing with power dynamics and owning your pleasure. When you are on top of your partner, you are the receiver of oral pleasure but also in a position of power. This level of control can be used in many different sexual scenarios where you take control of your partner. If you prefer eye contact and vulnerability – this sensual act can also be you putting all your trust in your partner.

The sub/dom element is what draws many people to facesitting, and also why this sexual act can sometimes be viewed as taboo. For the receiver, it can give them more confidence as their vulva is in such close proximity to their partner who they are watching enjoy their body. For the giver, facesitting means full submission. They are pinned into place and find pleasure in their partner’s dominance. This can be extremely gratifying and often the giver also experiences immense pleasure.

If you’re diving into facesitting for the first time it’s good to set some safe words. If you have a special word that you and your partner can use when your partner wants to ease up, you will have more peace of mind and be able to enjoy the act more. Go slow and get comfortable with communicating. The more flexible you are, the more room you leave for enjoyment, which of
course is the ultimate goal.

 

Read: ‘Sit on my face’: why straight men love facesitting.

Explore: Sensualists offering BDSM experiences

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Drew

Drew

Author

Drew, aka Wise and Manly is a sexuality coach helping people to love themselves. As a bisexual man, he makes content about owning and embracing your sexuality as well as accepting your authentic self.


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