Speaking on behalf of most of us, I think it’s fair to say a lot of us have heard of Tantra but don’t quite know how to use it in our daily lives. It’s a whole lot more than “sexy yoga” and it takes more than just flicking through the Karma Sutra to understand how to use it. Tantra can be defined as an esoteric yoga tradition that developed in India thousands of years ago. For many it’s thought of as a meditative lifestyle that helps you reach new realms of pleasure.
In today’s modern world the need for real connection is greater than ever before. Within the Gay community in particular, quick hook ups with no feeling are all too common – but wouldn’t you rather synchronise your breath and journey to blissful levels of oneness with your significant other? We spoke with iconic LA-based queer masseur and coach, Will Tantra to tell us about how the spiritual practice became so crucial within his life and work.
Can you introduce yourself and describe what you do?
My name is Will Tantra and I’m a Tantra, sex and intimacy coach living in Los Angeles. I also teach naked yoga and massage therapy as well as providing massage services for my clients. Along with in-person coaching, I teach through explicit videos that I produce.
I’m known for my practical approach to intimacy education and for providing men with easy-to-follow routines and rituals designed to teach how to give and receive more pleasure.
Educating men on how to exercise their bodies and masturbate in a way that better prepares them for partnered sex are favorite lessons of mine. My other passions include dance and springboard diving, and I perform regularly with a burlesque theater troupe.
When did you first get into adult performing?
I first began doing erotic work in 1990, right after college. At that time, I was posing nude for greeting cards and calendars. Over the next 30 years, I worked for quite a few erotic publications and started filming scenes for a variety of porn companies. In 2020, when the pandemic hit, I was a full-time massage therapist, Tantra and sex coach.
With the social distancing, I knew I needed to create a new way to teach that didn’t require touching or even being in the same room as my clients. For several years prior I had been pondering the idea of creating practical and explicit sex and Tantra education. I decided this was my chance to figure out the tech and business side of adult content creation and go for it.
I opened a Twitter account and posted a few videos where I taught and demonstrated different cock stroking techniques, naked yoga series and self-massage. The content I was posting really took off and soon I was creating full tutorials and making them available through OnlyFans and JustforFans . The ideas and lessons just keep coming and I have published over 700 videos now.
Please could you describe what Tantra means to you?
While the spiritual practice of Tantra is not just about sex, as a practitioner, it is the sexual aspects that excite and interest me the most.
Through Tantra, I have learned that I am not my socially conditioned self and that I am not separate from others and the world around me. I am an animal who was born to explore this amazing planet with all of my senses and to share, intimately with others. To use my body as a tool for connection and pleasure as I navigate this incredible playground that we get to experience every day.
I have learned that through sexual pleasure, a connection to the spiritual can be achieved. The blending of physical and spiritual bodies, through both solo and partnered intimacy, is what I aim for every day in my Tantric practice.
For me, this path means taking care of my body through healthy foods, movement and conscious sex, and my mind through meditation.
What do you like most about Tantra and what has been the biggest lesson you’ve learnt through it?
My favorite part about practising Tantra is how amazing and utterly satisfied I can now make myself feel through self-pleasure.
Studying Tantra has taught me how to edge, have multiple orgasms and take myself on an erotic journey with no shame or guilt. Masturbation is an important part of my self-care that I am proud of doing and prioritizing in my life.
This has translated into my partnered sex improving dramatically because how we masturbate directly affects our partnered intimacy. A huge lesson for me in Tantra has been how to look beyond the superficial aspects of another person and to see and feel the beauty within. This has enabled me to connect erotically with many different types of people than I was previously drawn to. My joyous exploration has made me realize that I am pansexual!
Do you think it’s harder or easier for gay men to engage in tantra with each other?
While most of the traditional Tantra teachings are written in a very heteronormative way, I actually think it’s easier for gay men to practice Tantra together. In the context of learning Tantra, as in going to workshops and retreats, gay men are generally more comfortable working with multiple practice partners and embodying both their masculine and feminine sides.
This is because gay and bisexual men tend to have looser boundaries around touch and intimacy with new partners. I’ve attended both gay and straight workshops and experienced a profound difference in the level of depth of connection achieved by participants. Gay men can blend their bodies and energies with brand-new partners more easily than those in straight events. That said, for actual real-life partners who are practising Tantra, I think there is an equal ability for partners to engage and enjoy.
Read: Why is Intimacy coaching essential for the LGBTQ community?
What’s your favourite thing about your work?
Sexual energy is the most powerful energy we have in our bodies. It created each of our lives, so it can certainly enhance our health and vitality.
I love helping clients learn how to charge, circulate and store their sexual energy for use in all aspects of their lives. There is nothing more satisfying than having a client tap into their sexual energy power and begin to harness it.
What has been your most powerful Tantra experience to date?
I have a Tantra coach friend and playmate who is also multi-orgasmic. We got together to make love, and it was off-the-charts ecstatic and primal. Their orgasms inspired mine, and mine inspired theirs and often we came simultaneously. The bond was so intense as we fucked, that there was a true blending of beings. This is a far cry from the many years when I was one and done in about 10 minutes !
Do you think you need to retain semen in order to have more powerful Tantra experiences?
First, my definition of semen retention does not mean refraining from masturbation. For me, semen retention means masturbating as much as I want and for as long as I want, but not ejaculating every time. It is a fact that when we ejaculate, our bodies release hormones causing a depletion of energy, motivation and desire to connect with others. It’s called the refractory period. As we age, the refractory period gets longer and longer. It is up to each individual at every age to decide the frequency at which to ejaculate each month in order to maintain their sexual energy.
I’m 57 and while I usually masturbate twice each day, I only ejaculate every 10-14 days. More than this makes me feel less vital and alive. When you learn how to edge and have non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms, you stop caring about ejaculations.
Prior to a Tantra session, I recommend that my clients refrain from ejaculating for at least two days. The extra sexual energy will greatly enhance the experience.
What advice would you give to couples or individuals who want to explore Tantra?
The first step would be to educate yourself. It’s important to understand what Tantra is, what it entails and what aspects interest you. Read books, and take courses to gain a basic foundation. A wonderful book to start with is “Urban Tantra” by Barbara Carrellas. It’s a great resource for beginners that includes practical exercises and rituals to try.
Finding and working with a qualified teacher will give you a proper understanding, guidance and tools to enhance your journey. However someone chooses to try Tantra, open communication is the most important thing. Stating your intentions and preferences as well as discussing your boundaries and consent are crucial for a successful Tantra experience.
Discover more about Will Tantra.
Explore more Tantric coaches and masseurs on Sensuali.
Drew
Drew, aka Wise and Manly is a sexuality coach helping people to love themselves. As a bisexual man, he makes content about owning and embracing your sexuality as well as accepting your authentic self.
Will Tantra
Will is a Tantric sex coach based in Los Angeles. He mainly teaches people through video, on how to give and receive more pleasure. His style is practical and straight forward, as well as highly erotic and explicit. In person, he offers massage therapy, escort services and naked yoga instruction. Combining his experience as a yoga instructor and personal trainer to offer workouts designed specifically for the muscles you use most while having sex.
