In a world where many women have felt disconnected from their own bodies and pleasure, the emergence of somatic sex coaching is breaking down barriers that have long hindered a profound connection with oneself. Beyond the traditional realms of verbal sex coaching, this immersive and hands-on approach is revolutionising how we understand, embrace, and reclaim our bodies.
What is somatic sex coaching?🫂
In the realm of sexual wellness, traditional sex coaching often revolves around verbal communication—an exchange of thoughts and feelings between you and your coach in a room or on a video call. However, the evolution of somatic sex coaching introduces a transformative approach that goes beyond words.
Why might somatic sex coaching work for women?💃
Somatic sex coaching is beneficial for everybody, especially in a world where we are so much in our heads and not as in touch with our bodies and primal instincts. But why might somatic sex coaching be especially beneficial for the girlies?
- Sex and pleasure education: For a very long time, women haven’t learnt about their own anatomy or pleasure due to a lack of thorough sex education. To many women their bodies are mystery to themselves. Touch-based coaching is unsurprisingly a much more effective way to learn these things rather than simply talking about them. You have a safe and intimate space to take the time to understand your own body, your own desires, and how you like to be touched.
- Embracing sexuality: Shame and stigma have stifled many women to the point that they have never had an orgasm. Somatic coaching places a strong emphasis on experiencing the body rather than just discussing or analysing it, helping women to get out of the space in their heads that blocks them from experiencing pleasure. Other aspects like mindfulness exercises, breath-work, and other somatic practices aimed at heightening sensitivity to touch and sensation are often involved.
- Overcoming trauma and blockages: For women who have experienced trauma or have emotional blockages related to their sexuality, somatic sex coaching can provide a safe and supportive space to explore and address these issues. The somatic approach focuses on releasing tension and promoting healing through the body-mind connection.
- Improving communication: Another common block for women in sex is being able to communicate. We have been taught that our desires don’t matter and it can feel almost out of hand to just speak up. Because this type of coaching is all about going through the motions and literally practicing a ‘sexual scenario’, you have a space to ‘rehearse’ asking for what you want in sex. Coaching often focuses on improving communication skills related to desires, boundaries, and needs. This can be particularly valuable for women in cultivating open and honest communication with their partners.
- Building a positive body image: The relationship between the coach and yourself may feel more intimate than a with a verbal coach purely due to the physicality of the sessions. This type of coaching is all about having a safe space to be vulnerable, especially regarding your body. But with the positive reinforcement of your coach, what starts as vulnerability will gradually blossom into love and acceptance of your body.
- Support for Sexual Transitions: Whether navigating changes related to pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, or other life transitions, somatic sex coaching can provide support and guidance to help women adapt and maintain a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.
Somatic sex coaching is having a moment🕚
Now marks an ideal time for women to explore the world of somatic sex coaching. The flourishing sexual wellness industry offers a growing number of sex and intimacy coaches, presenting women with diverse options for enhancing their sexual well-being. Simultaneously, the sex-positive movement is creating a cultural shift, encouraging open conversations about sexuality and dismantling taboos. As society increasingly normalises women seeking sexual services, the stigma surrounding this is fast-diminishing.
Seeking the right coach for you🔍
A female-identifying somatic sex coach:
There are certain reasons why seeking a female sex coach might be the right choice for you.
- Shared gender perspective: A female somatic sex coach may share similar experiences and perspectives related to being a woman. This shared gender perspective can foster a deeper understanding and empathy for the woman’s specific needs and challenges.
- Comfort and trust: Some women may feel more comfortable being touched by another female and talking about their desires and fears in a non-judgemental space. The shared gender identity can contribute to a sense of trust and ease in the coaching relationship.
- Addressing female-specific concerns: A female somatic sex coach can provide guidance on concerns specific to women, such as reproductive health, menstrual cycles, and menopause. This personalised approach can address the woman’s unique experiences and challenges.
A male-identifying somatic sex coach:
There has been a big rise of male somatic intimacy coaches who work primarily with women. Whilst the film ‘Good Luck to You Leo Grande’ featured a young male escort rather than a coach, the concept of him improving his older female client’s sexual confidence is not dissimilar to what a male somatic sex coach can do. Here are some of the benefits of seeking a male sex coach.
- The closest ‘practise’: If you are a heterosexual woman, seeing a male somatic sex coach can be the closest ‘practise’ you might get to your actual sexual experiences. A sex coach can act as a ‘surrogate partner’ meaning that you can basically play out sexual interactions , and quickly learn how to communicate with a man in those situations, increasing your confidence and feeling of safety around men in sex.
- Learning about male anatomy: If you have a specific interest in understanding male anatomy and sexual response, a male coach may provide firsthand insights that could be beneficial in creating a more fulfilling sexual connection with a male partner.
- Exploring fantasies and desires: If you have certain fantasies or desires related to male behaviour or touch, a male sex coach could be better equipped to guide you through these explorations and help you communicate effectively with your partner.
Community-specific somatic sex coaching:
If you’re part of a specific community like the LGTBQ, kink, or polyamorous community it might make more sense to seek out a coach who is also part of those worlds. Why?
- Shared identity: Having a coach who shares your identity or is part of the same community can create an immediate sense of connection and understanding. They may have firsthand experience with the unique aspects of your identity, fostering a more supportive and relatable coaching relationship.
- Understanding diverse relationship dynamics: Communities such as the LGBTQ+ community often have diverse relationship structures and dynamics. For example, specific LGBTQ sex coaching might provide insights and support that are tailored to the aspects of non-heteronormative relationships.
- Safe space for exploration: Working with a coach from your community can create a safer space for exploring your sexuality and addressing any concerns you may have. For example, if you’re part of the kink community, you might want to practice kink-specific things, something that only somebody versed in kink sex coaching may feel comfortable and qualified doing.
Couples somatic sex coaching:
If you’re in a relationship, one option is to seek out somatic sex coaching together. Why might this be beneficial?
- Synergistic exploration: Couples sex coaching allows partners to embark on a synergistic exploration of their sexuality, creating a shared narrative of discovery. The mutual engagement allows you to learn, experiment, and navigate your desires collectively, resulting in a more interconnected sexual journey.
- More effective coaching: As opposed to going to see a coach alone about your relationship struggles, if you go as a couple, your coach will be able to pick up on the dynamics better and be a first-hand help to the both of you.
- Transformative relationship growth: Beyond individual self-discovery, the shared nature of couples coaching facilitates mutual understanding and creates a space for addressing any challenges. If future issues arise, you have both been through the coaching and may be able to better tackle them with the shared skills that you have learnt.
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