I love this question because we often spend so much time focusing on what we think we should want sexually rather than asking ourselves what we genuinely enjoy.
Many of our ideas about sex come from our culture, past relationships, pornography, media, religion or the messages we received growing up. So naturally over time, it’s easy to hold onto scripts that aren't our own.
Remember that what you want today doesn’t have to be what you wanted five years ago. Our bodies, relationships and desires naturally evolve throughout life, and giving yourself permission to explore that change without judgement can be one of the most empowering things you do.
There isn’t a “right” way to experience desire, intimacy or sex, and the goal isn’t to fit someone else’s definition of a healthy sex life, but to discover what feels authentic, pleasurable and fulfilling for you.