What happens during an intimacy coaching session?
After you fill an intake form, I’ll draw up a roadmap that will steer us over the 8 sessions and make clear your goal and the skills for us to work on.
A coaching session usually opens with you sharing what’s been happening for you lately in your sex/dating life. We’ll then choose an area to focus. From there we’ll do a mixture of reflecting and interactive exercises. I don’t just engage in “talk” - I will often ask you to check how your body is responding to a certain question or situation! If it’s a more therapeutic session, we’ll follow a flow inspired by Internal Family Systems therapy. If it’s more “teach-y”, I’ll get us to practice certain tools or communication role-plays.
Most of the time the session is tailored to what’s built upon since the last session, that help us move towards our goal.
What kind of homework task can I expect?
Depending on how you learn best and what our goal is, I could set you a chapter to read (e.g. about sex drive types), a podcast (e.g. how to feel your feelings, or what your erotic blueprint is) or a framework to nerd on.
I will supplement that with a practical exercise, which could include:
👉🏼the 3 minute game with a friend
👉🏼 a pleasure/touch based exercise
👉🏼 actively practicing a skill we’ve learnt
👉🏼 reflecting on questions I’ve set
👉🏼 a conversation to have with your partner
👉🏼 tracking parts in yourself that are activated!
Can I meet you in-person?
In my experience video calls have been just as effective as face-to-face sessions. ❤️ So my practice has been 85% online. That said, I can occasionally offer in-person. I’m based in London so let me know if this is a desire.
How many sessions of coaching will I/we need to have on average and how often?
I would suggest a minimum of 8 sessions. Usually clients renew on a rolling-basis after for a total of 12-15 sessions.
This depends on our relationship together, the depth of your goal, and where you are on the journey. Some clients may need more time to work. The key is to not rush the process and to give yourself time to reflect on what you're really thinking and feeling.
Is there any guarantee that intimacy coaching will work for me?
Great question! I have found there are a few key conditions to accelerating the journey:
👉🏼 You have a certain level of self-awareness in place already (this is not your first “self development” investment)
👉🏼 You’re keen to do the homework in between class
👉🏼 You proactively schedule sessions with me that are 2-4 weeks apart.
👉🏼 You are willing to be honest, reflect and FEEL your feelings.
👉🏼 You’re willing to take small risks during our sessions that feel outside your comfort zone!
👉🏼 You reflect on the discussions we have after sessions and share them with me (where relevant)
Does coaching involve any physical touching or nudity?
Nope, sex & intimacy coaching is fully clothed with no touch involved.
Suggestions for (intimate or non-intimate) touch exercises may be given for you to practice at home though!
What should I expect in our 45 min free consultation call?
The main thing is: do we click? ❤️
I’ll share a little bit about my practice & answer any specific questions you have about the coaching process. 🙌🏼
The rest of the time I’ll ask you juicy questions about the area of sex/dating you’ve come to me for! I will help you breakdown what is going on (i.e. what you’re not seeing) and what’s in-between you and your goal — so you have more clarity. We’ll decide together if we will feel like a right fit for each other! 🌱
Can we still work together, while I still work with my psychotherapist?
Yes, it can be super complementary to work with a therapist and a coach. Let’s talk about it in our initial free call!
Can you coach someone on "intimacy" online?
To me, intimacy is about vulnerability and revealing the masks we wear. I'm aware most of my clients are intelligent and quite heady. So my sessions are very somatic. In other words, I’m getting us to slow down and feel - enough to notice the subtle signs of forcing, people pleasing or resistance in your body that’s masking anger or fear. I have typically found online sessions to be better than in-person because you’re in the comfort of your home, so there’s a safety in place that helps you drop in even deeper.
Do you accept low income clients or instalments?
Normally, I don’t offer discounts for my coaching package, but if you are feeling committed to this work and not sure how to afford this, I would love to hear from you. We can collaborate on a solution to make it possible. 🫶🏼
Regarding instalments, you are welcome to spread out the cost of coaching in 2-3 instalments at an added admin cost of 4%. Just ask. ♥️
Are 8 sessions enough?
It depends on your goal. Eight sessions is definitely a big shift.
However the majority of my clients do renew for a further 4-8 sessions because they can see the significant gains they are having in their life, and want to keep gong further. So more realistically it may be 12-15 sessions that we have together.
We’ll have a free ‘check-in’ call after those 8 sessions, to assess where we’re at, take stock of your progress, and see what you need in your next chapter!