Hi, I’m Victoria. I’m a relationship coach and the author of Before Anything Changes: A Companion for Couples Considering Consensual Non-Monogamy. Based in Amsterdam, I work primarily online with individuals and couples around the world, in English and Russian.

Perhaps you’re curious about opening your relationship. Perhaps something has already happened, and you’re trying to find your footing. You might be feeling jealous, struggling to trust, or wondering how to say something you’re afraid your partner won’t want to hear.

You’re welcome to come exactly as you are, even if you’re upset, unsure, or don’t know where to begin. You don’t have to make it sound tidy for me.

My specialism is consensual non-monogamy and complex relationships, informed by a decade of personal experience with non-monogamy. I also warmly welcome people in monogamous relationships. There’s no preferred relationship structure here, and no expectation that you should be more adventurous, more open, or more comfortable than you actually feel.

My approach is warm, direct and practical. Together, we look at what’s happening and find concrete steps that could make your situation better: preparing for a difficult conversation, finding words for a boundary, working through jealousy, or creating agreements that fit your lives.

Alongside conversation, I sometimes offer breathing practices, exercises to help you settle when emotions feel overwhelming, and visual exercises that make complicated feelings easier to understand. We choose what’s useful for you, at a pace that feels manageable.

After each session, you receive a personal digital summary with the important themes, insights and practical next steps. You don’t have to remember everything while you’re feeling everything. These summaries give you something to return to and work with between sessions.

There’s room here for tears, laughter, uncertainty, and changing your mind. We’ll begin wherever you are.