Skip to content

Ask your questions about intimacy, desire and connection

Every question opens a discussion: trusted practitioners share what they know, members add their own experience. Join free to ask, reply and vote. You choose how your question is signed, never with your username.

Men: Sensual Communication

How to deal with a break up emotionally? Any recommendation? I do not feel like dating, going out, not mourning just sad, but how long will it last?

For now, don’t force yourself into dating or big social plans if they don’t feel right. Aim for small acts of care like regular meals, rest, a little movement, and contact with someone you feel comfortable around. A simple plan to fill up

April Maria and 1 other
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach
4 (2 answers, 2 replies)
Women: Dating & new chapters

How do I let someone in close after a long relationship/marriage?

Very slowly. It's important to not overwhelm your nervous system with moving towards intimacy and connection too quickly. Identify and share your specific needs. It's okay to say, I'm learning and change your mind at any point during an

Answered by Priestess Mayra
BDSM, Austin
1 (1 answer)
Women: Dating & new chapters

It's been years since i connected to new people. How do I start again?

Check out Sensuali Events to start. There's a lot of events that can help you with connecting with people in an unpressured, sober, and intentional space. Come curious and willing to connect with people without expectations.

Answered by Priestess Mayra
BDSM, Austin
1 (1 answer)
Women: Perimenopause & Menopause

Can i increase my sex drive during menopause?

Yes! But it's not as simple as going on hormone replacement therapy. How much libido ('sex drive') we experience during menopause is influenced by a whole web of factors beyond simply hormones. How much time we have for ourselves in our

Answered by RuthRamsay
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, Ibiza
1 (1 answer)
Women: Perimenopause & Menopause

Does sex drive come back after menopause

Yes, it can! Menopause is a life stage, not the end. In fact in some studies couples in their 50s and 60s report higher sexual satisfaction than those in their 30s and 40s. How much libido ('sex drive') we experience during menopause and

Answered by RuthRamsay
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, Ibiza
1 (1 answer)
Women: Perimenopause & Menopause

What is perimenopause doing to my desire?

In perimenopause, the web of bio-psycho-social factors that determine our libido can face challenges from all sides. Our hormone levels are fluctuating like crazy, affecting our moods and sleep, which directly affects desire; we might be

Answered by RuthRamsay
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, Ibiza
2 (1 answer, 1 reply)
Women: Libido & Desire

What is it that I actually want in sex and intimacy?

I love this question because we often spend so much time focusing on what we think we should want sexually rather than asking ourselves what we genuinely enjoy. Many of our ideas about sex come from our culture, past relationships

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

Is it normal for my desire to come and go?

Absolutely. In fact, sexual desire naturally fluctuates throughout life, and it’s completely normal for it to come and go and having periods of no interest can be completely normal. In fact, expecting your libido to stay the same forever

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

Does my desire just work differently?

Yes, it might, and I love answering this question because one of the biggest myths about sexual desire is that everyone experiences it in the same way. In reality, desire isn’t one-size-fits-all, and there is so much complexity to it. Some

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

I feel numb during sex - what can i do?

Firstly, I am so sorry you feel this way about intimacy and sex. I would encourage you to understand better what feeling “Numb” means for you. Is it a lack of physical sensation? Feeling emotionally disconnected? Mentally checked out? Or

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Lost spark & reconnection

How do i start to talk about intimacy?

Talking about intimacy can feel incredibly vulnerable, but that’s because it’s a conversation most of us were never taught how to have. We learn about careers, finances, yet very few of us are shown how to talk openly about sex, desire or

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Lost spark & reconnection

How do we reconnect physically?

Many couples make the mistake of only touching when they’re hoping it will lead to sex. Over time, even a hug or kiss can start to feel loaded with expectation, which can make the partner with lower desire pull away. Instead, focus on

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Lost spark & reconnection

Can I fall back in love with my spouse?

If you’re both willing to invest in the relationship, there’s every possibility of creating a relationship that feels connected again. Often, people try to recreate what used to work when the goal should be to build something even stronger

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Lost spark & reconnection

Why do I feel disconnected from my partner?

Disconnection can happen for lots of reasons and can be fairly common in long-term relationships. Over time, we deprioritise the relationship, sometimes through no fault of our own, simply because life gets in the way. One thing I encourage

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

What do we still want to experience together?

It's so easy to fall into routines as a couple, but desire loves novelty. I love the idea of creating a little bucket list together. It doesn't have to be sexual, you may allow yourself to think out of the box and be creative. Maybe there's

Answered by Pauline
Pleasure writer, Berlin
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

What is a great experience to give as a gift?

Wow, okay, this is exactly the kind of question I've been hoping for. There's so much gift potential on Sensuali. If you're gifting a partner, I'd honestly start with a couples sensual massage, or even just booking one for your partner and

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

Should we try learning something together?

Absolutely. Learning together is one of the best ways to keep intimacy alive. One of my favourite practices is learning Tantra Massage. It teaches presence, communication, conscious touch and the art of slowing down. Rope bondage is another

Answered by Pauline
Pleasure writer, Berlin
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

What new things can we try as a couple?

There are so many beautiful ways to explore intimacy beyond your usual habits. One of my favourites is learning the art of slow touch. A slow full-body massage, or a sensual massage that includes the whole body, can completely transform the

Answered by Pauline
Pleasure writer, Berlin
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

What could we do at home for a date night?

A beautiful date night begins with the atmosphere. Tidy the space, dim the lights, light some candles, and add a sensual scent like ylang-ylang, sandalwood or jasmine. Create a playlist and prepare light, delicious food. The setting

Answered by Pauline
Pleasure writer, Berlin
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Communication & desire

How do I say what I want in bed?

This is a great question because often we think asking for what we want means upsetting the other person. When in fact, getting the sex we want requires using our words not just assumptions or the slight movement in our bodies. Yes, asking

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Communication & desire

I don't feel turned on by my partner. What can i do?

Not feeling turned on by your partner doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is over or that you’re no longer attracted to them. Desire is influenced by far more than physical attraction. In fact things like stress, resentment

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Communication & desire

Why do we keep fighting?

Couples rarely keep fighting because of the topic itself. More often, they’re caught in a cycle where both people are trying to have an important emotional need understood, but neither feels heard and so the pattern repeats itself. The goal

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Perimenopause & Menopause

Does desire return after menopause?

Yes - for many women it does, sometimes in better shape than before. What rarely works is waiting for the old spontaneous desire to reappear on its own; post-menopause desire usually needs to be invited: more warm-up, deliberate sensuality

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

Why has my libido disappeared?

Rarely for one reason - usually several stacked: exhaustion, stress, hormonal shifts, medication (antidepressants and some contraceptives are frequent culprits), an unresolved thing in the relationship, or simply a body you don't feel at

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

Can stress make desire disappear?

Completely - it's one of the most reliable desire-killers there is. A stressed body is set to survive, not to open up; that's biology doing its job. Chronic stress also steals the ingredients desire needs: sleep, headspace, feeling playful.

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Women: Libido & Desire

How do I reconnect with my sense of pleasure?

Start further back than you think - not with sex, with sensation. Pleasure lives in a body that feels safe and noticed, so begin there: warm water, slow stretching, music that moves you, food you actually taste. No goal, no partner agenda

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Exploring together

What happens at a couples intimacy workshop?

Less than your nerves are telling you. A typical evening: a welcome and clear ground rules, guided exercises in communication, eye contact or simple touch - always clothed, always only with your own partner - and time to talk together about

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: After children & life transitions

How do i feel desire again after having a baby?

Make one agreement explicit: for a set period - say a month - touch will not lead to sex, even if you both feel like it. That sounds counterproductive; it's the whole mechanism. When touch can't be an opening move, it stops being a

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Communication & desire

How do I share a fantasy with my partner?

Choose a low-stakes moment - walking, driving, lights off - not mid-intimacy. Start one size smaller than the real thing and see how it lands; trust builds in steps. Frame it as invitation, not verdict: 'something I've been curious about'

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Communication & desire

Why does one of us always initiate intimacy?

Almost every couple has an initiator - it's rarely about who wants who more. Often the quieter partner desires just as much but fears rejection, or their desire needs warmth and time to surface rather than arriving on its own. The danger is

Answered by April Maria
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, London
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

What workshops can couples do together?

More than most people expect: couples massage classes, tantra for beginners, dance, breathwork, communication and consent workshops, cooking, even couples photography. The best first pick is something practical where you learn a skill with

Answered by Isobel
Erotic Photographer, Manchester
1 (1 answer)
Couples: Date nights & shared experiences

Are couples massage classes awkward?

Many people worry they'll feel self-conscious, especially during the first few minutes. And they probably will - that's completely normal! We're used to performing in many areas of life but a couples massage class often asks us to do the

Answered by Ana Vaz
Pleasure & Intimacy Coach, Lisbon
1 (1 answer)
Loading more questions…
Ready to explore?

Book a first session with a trusted practitioner — online or near you, at your own pace.

Explore experiences