What you'll know after reading this
- Introducing a dildo into partnered sex is about communication, not taboo.
Bringing sex toys into partnered sex outside of solo play does not have to feel taboo or awkward. This guide shows how to raise the subject with your partner and make dildos genuinely fun and inclusive for everyone involved. Practical, reassuring guidance for couples who want to start exploring toys together with a bit more confidence.
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom outside of solo play doesn’t have to be taboo. Here’s how to approach the subject with your partner and make dildos fun for everyone.
Let’s start by stating the obvious. Sex toys are amazing and fun for all genders. Bringing a sex toy into the bedroom can most definitely be a new and exciting experience that unlocks new realms of pleasure for both you and your lover. In fact, if you choose to whip out a Dildo – you can also spice up your relationship and create new memorable bonds with your partner. Whilst it is true that some men indeed feel wary about using sex toys with their partners, research has found that now around 45% of men aged 18-60 use toys either with themselves or with their partner(s). We think when it comes to nocturnal activities, sex toys are allies, not the enemy! But how do you go about convincing the other 55% to feel the same?
Here at Sensuali, we have compiled a list of helpful tips in order for you and your partner to delve into the world of dildos, release uneasiness and crank things up a notch with some silicon sexiness.
1. Start with a conversation.
As with pretty much everything where sex and relationships are concerned, clear communication is key. If you want to bring up the subject of sex toys with your partner – pick a moment when you are both relaxed. Oftentimes it can be off-putting if you “whip out the dildo” mid sex. This can be rather daunting. Instead, try to breach the subject at a time when your partner can listen. Explain to them how and why you would like to use a toy and gauge their reaction. Be sure to ask “How do you feel about that?” to get deeper into the conversation. If any issues or thoughts come up, express that this is a safe space where your partner can air their opinions and concerns. Remember: If you don’t ask you don’t get – and you may be surprised by what they say.
2. Be open to options
Variety is the spice of life, and spice in the bedroom comes in all varieties. Whether it be a smaller bullet, a bigger rabbit or even an alien tentacle there are so many dildos and sex toys out there to choose from! Communicate with your partner to find out what will make them feel most comfortable. You can also try fleshlights and masturbation sleeves designed for penises. Being willing to try new devices that your partner wants will encourage them to do the same. It takes two to tango after all. There is truly a sex toy for every occasion, just talk about what you both feel comfortable trying 😉
3. Don’t be critical
Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Where sex toy usage in relationships is concerned tact is paramount. If you want to get your partner to go crazy with some silicone sexiness, maybe suggest to them exactly what it is that you love to feel based on your own experience. Don’t act like the toy is your favourite part (even if it secretly is). Instead, tell
your partner that them using the toy is what’s getting you going. This will most likely make them much more keen to open your bottom draw and reach for the lube…
4. Show rather than tell
Imagine. You’ve had the chat, you’ve pitched your dildo dreams, and your partner gives you that all-important yes. Now what… Well, how about showing what you like rather than lengthy tutorial-based conversations? Let your partner relax as you lie back and show them how it’s done. This can be an extremely sexy and sensual part of foreplay. Slowly getting them to mimic movements, and letting them see your reactions will make them an expert in no time. Practice makes perfect!
5. Have fun and reassure.
Sometimes we think of sex as ultra-serious, but why can’t you have a laugh and engage in conversations as well as orgasms? When you are using a toy, there will be times that you need to communicate if sometimes is to your liking or not. Just be honest. If you think that something feels good, tell your partner. If you want the movements, tempo or pace to change or for them to even stop – tell your partner. If you don’t ask you don’t get and a: “You’re doing amazing sweetie” goes a long way trust us 😉
If this list has left you hot under the collar and wanting to seek sex toy-based experiences – head on over to Sensuali where you can browse hundreds of profiles that meet your needs. Have fun and enjoy a new adventure.
Ready to explore beyond the bedroom? Check out the ultimate guide to NYC’s sex parties, the ultimate guide to London’s sex parties, and a sensual guide to London’s underground bars.
