Skip to content
BackAll practitioners
More like this Norwich Pleasure & Intimacy Coach Educator Professional Cuddler Sexologist +3 +2

About me

  • Kian de la Cour has been verified by submitting:
  • Valid selfie
  • Valid email address
  • Our moderators have carefully reviewed their profile and confirmed their authenticity.

My services are for

Women, Men, Non Binary, Trans, Gender fluid, Intersex

I offer experiences

In person · Online/Virtual

Age & gender

50s · Male

I speak

English

I am a Certified as a Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Sex Educator, embodied counsellor and Wheel of Consent® Workshop Facilitator. I work with people who have a sense of something they want to learn or explore in the realms of sexuality, arousal, self-regulation, intimacy and embodiment.

Sessions have an educational focus supporting you to develop a greater capacity for interoception; for feeling more and finding ways to notice, value and articulate felt sensations.

The dream that guides my work is creating a world that cherishes erotic embodiment as a guiding principle. I see this work as vital to counteract the cultural tendencies toward performative sex, and to connect with our genuine curiosity and unique passions so that sexuality becomes a galaxy of available choices.

I am the founder of the School of Somatic Sexology, Chair of the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists (ASIS), and President of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (ACSB).

I am passionate about sharing the joys and trials of greater embodiment with the world and welcome you to be in touch.

My qualifications

20+ years of experience
9 qualifications

Sex education has fascinated me from an early age. In my teens (pre-internet) I taught myself massage, sex magick, tantra and Mantak Chia's Taoist practices from books. During my first degree at Bradford University I explored Reichian bodywork, breathwork and meditation.

In 1994 I discovered Joseph Kramer's work through the Body Electric School. I took their Sacred Intimate Training, experiencing the deeply parasympathetic ecstatic states available through actively receiving erotic massage and finally connected with a tribe of people investigating similar interests to my own.

My other embodied learnings include:
- Structural integration / myofascial bodywork
- Practising and teaching Ving Tsun kung fu
- A few years of yoga practice which, even though it was long ago, I retain gains from
- Meditation, exploring interoception and awareness through stillness

After exploring various tantra teachers and other workshops, I was awarded the Certificate in Sexological Bodywork® (CSB) and find Somatic Sex Education / Sexological Bodywork® to be a near perfect, for me, marriage of anatomy and sex geekery, combined with education and profound somatic experiences - where less is often so much more.

My post-CSB learning includes with Betty Martin and Ellen Heed's STREAM course. Betty's Wheel of Consent® in particular has positioned the client and informed, embodied consent at the centre of my client work an d what I teach on the UK & Ireland CSB training with the School of Somatic Sexology.

Bringing the CSB training to the UK in 2014 taught by Australian teachers Deej Juventin & Uma Furman, and teaching it since 2018, feels like coming back to the roots of my journey with Body Electric, with the addition of the Wheel of Consent® , the recent decades' discoveries in neuroscience and mindfulness, applied to erotic education.

The journey continues!

Education and training

  • Certified Embodied Counsellor. The Institute of Somatic Sexology (ISS). Online 2023
  • Certified Wheel of Consent® Workshop Facilitator. The School of Consent 2018
  • Women's Pelvic Health: Scar Tissue Remediation, Education and Management (STREAM) training with Ellen Heed & Kimberley Ann Johnson (event organiser & participant). U.K. 2016
  • Certified Cuddle Party Facilitator, with Dr. Betty Martin & Len Daley (event organiser & participant). U.K. 2016
  • Certified Somatic Sex Educator (CSSE) with Joseph Kramer, Deej Juventin and Uma Furman, awarded by the Institute of Somatic Sexology (ISS - event organiser & participant). U.K. 2015
  • Certificate in Sexological Bodywork® (CSB) with Joseph Kramer, Deej Juventin and Uma Furman, awarded by the Institute of Somatic Sexology (ISS - event organiser & participant). U.K. 2014
  • Urban Tantra Professional Training Program, with Barbara Carrellas. Sweden 2010
  • Certificate in Tantric Surrogacy™ with Padma Deva / Tantric Initiations. U.K. 2007
  • Sacred Intimate Training with the Body Electric School. Wildwood, California 1994

Career highlight

Bringing Sexological Bodywork® (2014) and Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent®, Facilitation and Cuddle Party (2015-2018) trainings to the U.K.

Gallery

Media 1
Private gallery Kian de la Cour keeps a private set of photos for members. Join free to view her gallery and request access. Join to view

FAQ

Will I be safe?
Exploring sexuality can be a vulnerable place. In order to engage your parasympathetic nervous system - that is, to relax and explore - it is vital that you feel safe and are safe. I operate outside of attraction in the service of learning, with clear boundaries and adhere to the code of ethics linked below. Sessions are client-centred and based on what you want to explore, in line with Betty Martin’s observations that the choosing is more important than the doing. You may wish to consider this Client Checklist for Working with a Somatic Sex Educator, from the Somatic Sex Educators Association (Canada) https://members.somaticsexeducator.com/client-checklist-for-working-with-a-somatic-sex-educator/
Do you follow a code of ethics?
Yes, I adhere to the Code of Ethics of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (ACSB). You can read it here https://sexologicalbodyworkers.org/ethics I am clothed, erotic touch is one way and gloves are used for intimate touch. The Ethical Codes of Practice include that a session can include less than was intended by the client, but cannot be expanded once begun. This is because once arousal has entered the picture it becomes more difficult to make rational decisions. If things occur to you that are of interest beyond the scope agreed at the start of the session, they can be noted for possible exploration in subsequent sessions.
Is it all about sex?
A great secret of Somatic Sex Education™ / Sexological Bodywork® is that it is about greater presence and embodiment in every area of life. Sex is often an arena where issues show up starkly; such as how to know what we want, how to ask for what we want, how to be more spontaneous and more. Mindful practices move the nervous system into greater integration. This means your erotic practice increases your capacity for empathy with yourself, with others, with every aspect of your life.
Will I have to get naked?
In sessions, the focus is on your experience. It is entirely possible to focus on and explore your internal experience while clothed and all sessions begin there. Likewise, sessions can involve touch and do not have to. Depending on your reason for attending and your level of comfort, nudity may or may not not be desirable or appropriate. If there is a decision to make about this, it will always be yours to make.
How many sessions do you recommend?
Some people find a short series most beneficial; others may choose regular sessions over months or even years particularly if negotiating embedded habits or trauma responses. It depends on many factors including your learning objective(s), degree of interest, convenience and more. Our habits are an accumulation of years of practice, whether the behaviours are repeated unconsciously, or consciously such as learning to play a musical instrument. To change habits (which is to resculpt your nervous system), regular practice over time is key. To enable this to take place it is recommended that you attend a series of regular sessions, weekly, fortnightly or monthly. I will typically give you home practice so that you continue practising in your own environment.

Services & Tags

Similar practitioners

Practitioner Kian de la Cour Somatic sex educator & counsellor
Register to message