Tie and Tease is one of the most popular BDSM activities today. In people who seek out BDSM experiences, tie and tease is a speciality that most professionals are skilled in. But you may be wondering, what actually is tie and tease?
What is Tie and Tease?
It’s pretty much what it says on the tin. It’s tying someone up, and teasing them. It’s just a regular strand of BDSM. But in our label-obsessed society, where we try to brand everything as something, Tie and Tease has become its own thing. Whilst many are critical of this obsessive labelling, I personally think there’s goodness in it.
By labelling tie and tease as its own thing, emphasis is placed on it. It gives it greater importance. It becomes not just ‘part’ of BDSM, but an activity in which you have the phrase to suggest as something alone. For example, you can say to someone ‘I don’t feel like having sex, but can we do tie and tease?’ Then, you can appreciate it in its full beauty, and not just something as a predecessor to sex or just ‘part’ of a BDSM session.
So let’s delve into the beauty of tie and tease, for whilst it ultimately is just tying someone up, and teasing them, it’s also much more than that!
The History of Tie and Tease
The first origins of bondage can be traced up to 12,000 years ago, and associated with Goddesses such as Inanna, it was treated as a very sacred activity. Kinbaku, which is Japanese bondage, as a sexual activity can be traced back to 1600. Basically, people have been tying each other up for kinky fun throughout history, in different corners of the world.
In more recent times, tie and tease found its groove alongside the rise of BDSM. Back in the 20th century, underground fetish and BDSM communities started gaining momentum. Books like “The Story of O” and the “Gor” series, along with naughty magazines like “Bizarre,” helped bring bondage and dominance into the limelight.
Then the internet happened! In the 80s and 90s, BDSM enthusiasts found their digital playground. Online forums and websites became gathering spots for sharing experiences, swapping techniques, and diving deeper into tie and tease and other BDSM activities. The web opened doors (and wrists) to a whole new world of exploration and connection.
Fast forward to today, and tie and tease has wiggled its way into mainstream culture. It’s been portrayed in movies, TV shows, and books, often as a tantalising part of erotic or power play dynamics. Now, tie and tease continues to evolve and adapt as people finally start to feel comfortable enough to be open about their desires.
How to do Tie and Tease
You can tie- and you can tease- in many different ways. Here are some common aspects explored during the process of tie and tease to give you a clearer picture…
Restraints
This is the tie part. The materials you use to restrain your lover. You can go for soft stuff like scarves, silk ties, or rope if you want to get creative. If you prefer something more hardcore, you can try handcuffs, leather cuffs, or bondage tape.
Sensory Props
This is the tease part. They are props that stimulate the senses. Feather ticklers, soft brushes, fur, or silky fabrics can be great for teasing and tickling the person who’s all tied up.
Blindfolds
Blindfolds are like the icing on the cake. They take away the person’s sight, meaning they don’t know what’s coming and when it does come they are only able to focus on the sensation. It heightens the dynamics of power between the giver and the taker.
Temperature Play Props
This is where things get hot (or cold). I think people underestimate the arousal in temperature play, maybe because putting ice on someone’s body feels a little gimmicky. But it’s actually proven to increase arousal. In tie and tease, you can use ice cubes, warm massage oils, or even chilled metal objects to give the person different temperature sensations.
Lubricants and massage oils
These goodies can make everything feel even better. You can use them for sensual massages or as an additional pleasure enhancer during tie and tease. Again, I know it might feel cringe to whip out the lube, but there’s just something so sexy about the slippery texture.
Impact Play Tools
Okay, this one’s for the hardcore peeps. Some people like to mix in a bit of spanking or light whipping during tie and tease. If you’re into it, you can try using toys like floggers, paddles, soft whips or pinwheels. Remember, it’s crucial to talk about it beforehand and make sure everyone’s comfortable with this kind of play.
The Intimate Charm of Tie and Tease
I think the important word here is ‘tease’. The excitement of tie and tease comes from the playfulness. It’s so much more than hardcore pain, which sounds wayyy too serious.
Tie and tease is about sensuality, bonding, it’s about closeness and having complete control over the bodily sensations of somebody else. It’s like a playful and seductive dance between partners. It’s actually one of the most intimate things you can do with somebody.
Tie and tease can be a way to strengthen a bond, or it can be a way to find personal growth. Sensuali is all about finding sexual experiences that can add genuine value and excitement to your life.
You can find BDSM sensualists to explore tie and tease with, some pros are happy to teach both you and your partner the tricks. This isn’t just pain and humiliation; welcome to the world of trust-building and sensory delight!
Iso
Iso is a writer and filmmaker based in East London. She is passionate about all things erotic and leads a sexy, shame-free life in hope that she can inspire others to do the same. Originally from a Northern seaside town, she is naturally drawn to the best things in life: candyfloss, trashy karaoke bars and heart-shaped sunglasses.
